


Marik's Insane Plot or Bakura Gets Pissed!

by redconvoy



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M, Parody, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:54:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23966461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redconvoy/pseuds/redconvoy
Summary: The Thief King wants to start a new life and show Ryou his intentions are pure, but he will have to work hard to get Ryou to trust him.  Events in Ryou's life unfold that bring them closer together...yeah...about that...  Meanwhile, Yami Marik wants to rule the world...by virgin sacrifice.  The only problem is, he can't keep focused enough to carry out his insane plot!  Atem, er Yami, king Tut...uh...whatever he is called, is the King of Games and a real asshat at times.  Will his relationship with Yugi last?  Follow the story of insanity, humor, and the like (right now I can't think of one that I am thinking of).  Leave a comment, a like, a kudo, or just a tip!  XD  Enjoy!
Relationships: Atem & Kaiba Seto, Bakura Ryou/Thief King Bakura, Mutou Yuugi/Yami Yuugi
Comments: 35
Kudos: 20





	1. The Prologue-Deal with it!

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. This takes place after Yuugi graduates high school. 

Note: At the time, I knew nothing much of Yu-gi-oh except for what I have read of the manga version through Shonen Jump. This is more of an offbeat fic rather than cannon. You may or may not like it. If this “problematic,” please hit the back button. I portray Bakura as I read him in other fics at the time. I love how people portrayed him. 

It is now May of 2020 and I am editing these as I go along. I got these off an old disc and I need to change just some of the terms such as “aibou” and replace it with “partner.” Understanding Yugioh years later is going to make me want to change things a bit. The premise of the story, no. I wrote this way back after my sister died in April of 2003. It helped me get through the grief. 

Prologue

One wish was all it took and Yami had his own body. It was his partner’s decision. While Yuugi went to college, Yami would continue to be the King of Games. He made a lot of money, and damn, did he love every moment of it! Of course, he still lived with his partner and his grandfather. Where ever his partner was, he wanted to be. Never had he felt as connected to a soul as he did to his light. 

Of course, after he had been separated into the living world, things had gone differently for his partner. Yami wondered…why were people so fickle? His friends had stopped coming around, but they all gravitated toward the Pharaoh. He wanted nothing to do with them. He never took them up on their offers to go out to the movies or to that nasty burger place. Not without his partner! 

Would one think that Bakura, as much of a miserable person he was, would willingly leave Ryou behind? No. He was too busy trying to get into his pants! Oy! Thief King Bakura was known for many things that the Pharaoh had remembered recently. Definitely his heightened sex drive toward any gender was one of them! 

Then there was the crazy Malik or Marik or whatever the hell his name was! He had driven his own partner’s soul out and killed his family in order to rule the world…which did not work! Yami knew he would still try! After all, how many phone calls had he received recently threatening his life that he tactfully ignored? Oh yeah, the latest? Death by watching Hamtaro! Yeesh! 

Japan was certainly different from Egypt. There was no desert and the nearest city wasn’t thousands of miles away. The pharaoh loved to travel the cities when dueling. He got to meet new people and make new friends. The people were so different. 

Yami entered the game room of another duel. Some stupid rich teenage brat wanted to battle the King of Games and win in order to impress his father. He had to hand it to the brat, he had a good deck…but not good enough! 

“If it isn’t Yami Motou. I finally get to battle with you.” Of course, Yami was soooooooo tired of these stupid duelists and their talk that sounded worse than some cartoons with bad dialogue. “I have a proposition for you.”

Yami just snorted in disgust. Getting the dueling disk on his arm, Yami loaded his cards and then waited for the stupid teen to finish his senseless babble. 

“High and mighty aren’t we?” The teen asked.

“You watch way too much television. Shut up!” Yami looked the teen in the eyes across from him. 

“You may want to hear what I have to say.” The blond teen smiled that shit eating grin Yami hated.

“What could you possibly say that could interest me?” Yami was growing tired of this!

“Two words, Yuugi Motou.” That made Yami internally flinch, but he didn’t let it show on the outside.

“What about him.” Yami asked pretending to be disinterested when he actually wanted to know what this punk was up to.

“I want to make the stakes high in this. You can call me Brad by the way.” Ugh! BRAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!-Yami thought in disgust. What a name!

“Nice name. Were your parents on something when they named you?” Yami snorted. 

“Hah! I see you have a sense of humor!” Brad smiled. “So, here are my terms.”

“The terms of the game are in the rule book. I suggest you go back and read it if you have a problem!” Yami interjected. 

“No. I want to change them.” Brad leaned forward on the console. “You see, I play to win. When I win, I want something from the opponent.” 

“What does this have to do with Yuugi.” Yami demanded a bit more than he should have.

“Well, you seem interested in his welfare. Very well then. If I win, you, the little freak and his grandfather leave the game shop to me. If you win, I do nothing.” Brad stated with a grin.

“If I win, you play a penalty game for being an asshole.” Yami concluded for him.  
“Overtime?” Brad asked.

“No! This isn’t hockey, football, or baseball! A penalty game is something totally different that only I play.” Yami’s grin turned dark. “Ready?”

“Of course.” He answered.

The game commenced. Of course, as an hour rolled by, and without a strategy of his own, Yami naturally won against the amateur. Distraught by his loss, Brad threw a tantrum of his own. 

“Are you done ranting like a child?” Yami sneered.

“No! How dare you! How could you do this to me?!” Brad threw his cards everywhere.

“Because you don’t know how to play. I am sure the people you played with let you win because of who you are!” Yami put his deck away. “I’m sure your father taught you that you cannot have everything in life go your way.”

“I’M RICH!!! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!!” Brad shouted.

“Bad attitude to have. Money doesn’t make the man.” Yami looked up at the teen. “No matter how rich you are, that’s no excuse for having bad manners.”

“How would you know!” Brad spat.

“I would know. I’m not going to tell you why.” Yami smirked. “I told you, if I won, you would have to play a penalty game.”

“What the hell is this penalty game!” Brad demanded. 

“Simple. I decide your fate.” Brad noticed something glowing on Yami’s forehead. 

“Wha…what are you!” He demanded. 

“Let’s just say, I’m someone from the way distant past. Before your civilization emerged, before Christ, before Christianity. I commanded the moon and the sun to rise and fall. Can you guess what I was?” Yami noticed the look of confusion on his face. “I guess not since you only seem to know about fast cars and young ladies. Didn’t pay much attention in school did you.”

Brad still didn’t answer. Yami was having too much fun overloading the teen. He swore he could see smoke coming out of Brad’s ears. Wouldn’t it be nice if his head exploded and saved Yami the trouble of punishing him for threatening the welfare of his Partner.

“Since your brain seems to be overloaded with too much information at this time, I guess I’ll just start the penalty game.” The eye on his forehead glowed more. “I reserve death for those who are more deserving. Since you need to learn your lesson to carry on to your next life, this is what I will place on you. Remember that fairy tale of King Midas? Since you think money makes the man, let’s see how you react when everything you touch, everything you love, turns to gold.” He said as Brad’s body glowed in a golden light. 

When the light disappeared, Brad snorted in disgust and began to pick up his cards that he threw in a fit of rage. As he touched them, they turned to pure gold. His eyes grew to the size of saucers. This guy was not kidding.

Of course, Brad found the cards turning to gold the most amazing thing that had ever happened. He had no idea what was to come. 

“You think this is a punishment? I will be the first person to have golden duel cards!” Brad laughed happily. 

“Oh really.” Yami drawled. “Guess again, smart ass. Your food, your family, everything you touch will turn to gold. If I were you, I wouldn’t touch myself either. You wouldn’t want to have a dead weight between your legs get you down now, would you?” Yami smirked as he left the battle field. “Have a nice life.” 

“YOU THINK THIS IS A PUNISHMENT! HAH!” The stupid teen shouted back. 

Yami shook his head in disbelief. This one would take hundreds of years to learn his lesson. All he had to do now was collect his winnings and leave.

“I need a virgin sacrifice!” Malik shouted at Bakura as he flinched. “Can’t you find me one for crying out loud!”

“Read the sign, buddy! It’s called “Bondage Bakuras”. There ain’t gonna be any virgins walking through that door. If there are any virgin sacrifices, it’ll be done by me, thank you very much!” Bakura snarled at the crazed Malik. 

“I thought you were my ally, Bakura! I want to get that Pharaoh back!” Malik’s voice boomed throughout Bakura’s office.

Bakura just sat down at his desk, calm, cool and royally pissed off! When was Malik ever going to give up? Maybe if he let the idiot loose on Yami, then he would be sent to the shadows by the Pharaoh. Then Bakura could get on with his business peacefully. 

“It’s over, Malik! Get over it and find a hobby! Jerking off is a good one followed by getting a life, a job and possibly getting laid if you don’t scare the ladies off!” Bakura criticized. 

“HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME, THIEF!!” Malik shouted. 

“I call it as I see it!” Bakura answered back. “Don’t call me thief…it’ll piss off Ryou and you don’t want him to cry now, do you? It’s a very traumatic experience that I do not wish to experience again.” 

“You let your Partner cry?” Malik laughed. “You’re such a loser, Bakura.”

“I’m not the one standing in someone’s office asking for a virgin sacrifice, BUD!” Bakura stood up in ready to slug the stupid idiot. “They don’t do stuff like that anymore in this century. Get a gun and just shoot him if you’re so hell bent on getting the Pharaoh back for sealing you in the millennium item. I don’t think any gods are going to kill him for you if you sacrifice someone unnecessarily. It doesn’t work that way and it never has!” 

“You question the gods.” Malik challenged.

“Have you seen how many religions there are now in this world? We create our own gods. If there is one, he is probably laughing his ass off at us for being so stupid! He has better things to do than worry about what we think or feel! If he let you live, he let Yami and I live. So who are you to question this God or kill Yami? I don’t want him dead. I just wanted the damned millennium items! Never got those items to rule the world, did I? You see, I saw this sign. It said, you want to rule the world? Go to this place! So I did and it was a business seminar! Hence, here is Bondage Bakuras!” he said as he spread out his arms in emphasis. “While I don’t rule the world, I could rule the business world! What do you think of that!” Bakura crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I think you use too much bleach in your hair!” Malik shot back. 

“Well, you’re a natural blond and you act like one too!” Bakura devilishly grinned. “Get with it and get a life, Malik! Your days are over and the items don’t work anymore, therefore, you cannot rule the world. Even if you did, no one on this planet would put up with you!” 

“You forget, I can control minds!” Malik smirked.

“The weak minded like you.” Bakura reminded him. “Some power. Not what I would want. Oh wait, I forgot! The politicians in this world would be powerless against your mind control!” 

“See?” Malik cross his arms. 

“Don’t be so proud of yourself! They weren’t intelligent to begin with!” Bakura snorted. “Get out of my office. I am trying to turn over a new leaf. Something you wouldn’t understand!”

“Where’s the leaf?” Malik scratched his head in confusion. 

“Up your ass! Get out!” Bakura pointed toward the door. “While you’re at it, go admit your ass into a mental institution!” 

Malik’s expression of confusion turned to that of anger…not that Bakura cared or anything…

“We’ll meet again old’ friend.” Malik walked out. “I won’t forget this.”

“I’ll try my best to.” Bakura shot back.


	2. Watch out Ryou!  Daddy is coming Home!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yami returns home while Yuugi contemplates when the hell puberty will finally finish! For crying out loud, when will he ever look like a darn man!  
> Also, Bakura shows up at the Ryou's father's house, but he does not like what he finds...well, he does, but he doesn't.   
> I know this is uploaded a day early.

Disclaimer: None of this is mine except for the insane plot and this is not to be taken seriously. I am writing this is in all good fun. If you are the guy who created Yu-Gi-Oh, don’t shoot me please!

ONE

When the hell would he ever stop looking like less than a man? After all, he was 18 years old now and in college. He still had that baby fat on his face and those huge purple eyes. He had only grown a few inches in the past few years almost being the Pharaoh’s height. He had gotten rid of that star shaped hair style, but kept the blond bangs. Yuugi just had a hell of a time straightening it out. As a result, his hair looked longer, but he didn’t mind. At least people noticed him more in a positive light. He looked more “attractive.” 

In High School, Yuugi had been the short guy and was constantly picked on until he solved the puzzle. Then he wished for friends, which he received. Last year, in an unselfish act, Yuugi wished his protector to have his life back rather than send him to the afterlife. His protector imprisoned his soul in his late teens in the item he possessed and deserved to breathe life again. Of course, the wish he had asked for back then was broken. 

No longer did Honda consider Yuugi a friend. It was as if he snapped out of a daze. Anzu had gone off to America, but she was still Yuugi’s friend. She just didn’t feel as drawn to him as she had in the past. Guess the confident pharaoh was the one she felt strongly for. Jou still came around. His protector had told Yuugi that Jou always liked him and nothing would change that. The elder was just confused about Honda’s actions. Ryou was still his friend, but Yuugi had not heard much from him except for recently when he asked him for a favor. He wanted Yuugi and Yami to meet his future step mother at the engagement party.

Of course, Yuugi was alone and watching the game shop for his grandfather. It was empty in the early afternoon as usual. School was still in session and it wouldn’t be full until almost 5pm. Until then, it was quiet for him to study. 

The door chimed as someone entered. Looking up, Yuugi noticed the Pharaoh walking in with a shoulder bag. In the games he called himself “Tutankhamen” which was his original name, or so he thought. They found out his real name was “Atem,” but to save face, he kept calling himself the other name. To his friends, he just wanted them to call him “Yami”. If he had to endure any more “King Tut” jokes, he was going to hurt someone real bad! 

“Welcome back Yami.” Yuugi greeted. “How did the duel go?”

“I won.” He walked toward the younger youth, placing the bag on the counter, opening the top. “The jerk was too overconfident so I made him play a penalty game.”

Yuugi’s smile faded. He was well acquainted with Yami’s “Penalty Games”. Why he applied it to the Duel Monster tournaments was beyond him. Yuugi hoped never to be on the receiving end of one of those. 

“What did you do?” Yuugi asked a bit squeamish of what the answer would be.

Yami noticed his partner’s face and laughed heartily. The teen did not find his laughing very amusing. He leaned closer to Yami and then asked again.

“What did you do?” Yuugi tried to get the answer out of him.

“N-Nothing serious partner.” Yami calmed down. “I just gave him the “Midas Touch.” Remember that story you told me about?”

“Why did you do that? It would have been better to kill him instead.” Yuugi snorted as he went back to studying.

“I thought I would teach him a lesson about life and how to cherish it a bit more. I don’t think he understood. He was so impressed that his cards were turned to gold. I just told him not to touch himself.” Yami smirked as he noticed Yuugi studying. “How are you doing in this college you told me about?” He changed the subject.

“I’m doing okay. It’s harder than high school though.” Yuugi sighed. 

“I do not know high school or college. I had private tutors.” Yami reached into his bag and took out a glass case and then placed it on the counter. “Thank you for letting me use your cards.”

Yuugi looked at the glass case. The cards rested inside all neat and in order, or so he hoped. He didn’t understand why Yami just kept them. It wasn’t like he would ever use them again. 

“Yami, just keep them. I’m not going to be using them anymore. I told you, I chose college over that.” Yuugi pushed the case near the Pharaoh. 

“They call for you, you know. You are the only one I know of besides myself that knows what the cards really mean to us. I can create a new deck for myself. I want you to have these in case you change your mind one day.” Yami smiled as Yuugi sighed.

The teen took a hold of the case sliding it back toward himself. Yami had one hell of a convincing argument. Maybe…

Yami jumped over the glass counter and then grabbed his duffel bag. Tousling his partner’s hair, he went into the residence part of the building. 

“Remember we have to go to Ryou’s tonight to meet the future step-bitch his father wants to marry.” Yami shouted back as Yuugi smiled at the remark. 

************************************************************************

Night had come and Bakura had one thought in mind…see Ryou. They hadn’t talked in a few days and the ex-tomb robber was becoming worried about his partner. He knew Ryou was having some problems at home with his future step-mother, but Bakura wondered how bad it was. 

The last he had heard, the stupid bitch was trying to talk Ryou’s father into making the teen move on his own. How could a pre-med student make his own way? Of course, Bakura had stepped in and given Ryou free reign to come into his place of business to do the books at his leisure. He had to make sure his partner was being taken care of after all…right?

So, Bakura had come in the best attire he could think of. All leathers, all enough to advertise who he was and what business he was in. Of course, he also hoped to turn on a certain someone and have this person rub their beautiful naked body against his leather clad one while he would squeeze this person’s tight firm ass. Oh yeah! Such a delicious thought! 

Walking up the stairs of the luxurious town home, a lecherous grin came to the tomb robber. Oh yes! Tonight would be interesting and crazy Malik would have one less virgin to concern himself about. Of course, it would take a lot of begging, pleading and a bit of lying on his part. 

Composing his expression to that of someone who would make a good impression, Bakura knocked on the door putting on his best polite grin. Always be in good graces with the father was his motto. 

The door opened and someone that Bakura did not recognize opened the door. His grin faded as the male teen raised a brow. Who the hell was this idiot?

“Ryou? Is that you?” The boy asked.

“No, you stupid fucking idiot! I’m Bakura! Let me in! I want to see Ryou!” Bakura demanded. 

“Does he know you?” The teen asked.

“Nooooo! He just called Rent-A-Fuck and here I am! Of course he knows who I am! May I come in, or do I have push your sorry ass out of the way!” Bakura seethed. 

“C-Come in.” The teen stepped away as Bakura stormed past. 

Bakura knew where Ryou’s room was and needed no directions to get there. When he looked back, the other teen was gone…perhaps hiding in fear. There was no way in hell that kid was related to Ryou. He reeked of impurity. That kid had been around the block and then some a few times! 

As Bakura was about to ascend the stairs, he heard a conversation going on in the dining hall. Of course, the decorations did not go unnoticed to Bakura. He knew there was a party going on. What, he didn’t know nor did he care. All the thief wanted to do was see his partner. He stopped though out of curiosity. What was that damn woman up to?

“I want him out tonight.” A female voice was heard. “He’s old enough and anyway, where is MY son going to sleep? I will not give him some second rate guest room! He deserves better after all he has been through! Your son has had it good! In fact, I don’t even want him here! He looks like a damn girl for crying out loud! I don’t need my son lusting after some guy or even learning that concept.” That made Bakura snort in disgust. “Also, that friend of his! Where the hell did he come from? Prison? I don’t care what he does to your son, but I don’t want him near mine or in this house! In fact, maybe you should just sever all relations with your son since he had been such a problem in the past. I’m sure that jerk he hangs around with has something to do with it.” Bakura growled at this. If murdering wasn’t illegal, he would do it right now. 

“I just can’t sever all ties with my son. He’s all I have left.” The man meekly responded. “I would never force you to do that with your son.”

“I am your family now and so is my son!” She shot back. “I don’t want this becoming a problem in the future.”

Bakura began to ascend the stairs again. He heard enough from that foul bitch. There were a few words to describe her…whore…bitch…gold digging bitch!!! Of course she would want all ties severed to Ryou. She would inherit the millions with her own son. He would have to do something about that… Women like her used to fool the nobility in his day as well as royalty. By the gods, were they vile and evil! Families were broken up the heirs were left without their legacies. As much as he hated them, Bakura did not wish ill on their children. 

Bakura took the long corridor down to Ryou’s room and then opened the door. Inside, he found boxes everywhere and the bed stripped bare. Where was he planning on going? The only thing missing in the room was Ryou. Stepping outside the door, he looked up and down the huge corridor. Where would his partner go? 

“Ryou? Hey Ryou! Where are you?” Bakura called out. 

/In the library./ A voice in his mind answered back. 

//You have a library? Where the hell is that?// 

/Across from you/ Ryou answered back. 

Bakura noticed two large doors across the huge corridor and then stepped toward them. He slowly turned the knobs and then walked in. There, curled up in a huge black chair, was Ryou reading a book. He seemed to be at peace, not worrying about his fate. Bakura walked toward his partner standing beside him, leaning against the huge plush chair, looking over his shoulder.

“What are you reading?” Bakura questioned. “It looks like a big book.”

“It’s just something to pass the time.” Ryou answered in his British accent. 

“I noticed your room was packed up. Where were you planning on going?” Bakura asked. 

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Ryou answered bitterly. “My father certainly doesn’t.” He closed the book with a loud resounding boom. “I really hate her. I have never hated anyone before I met her. She’s from the United States military base where they have residence. She made it a point that she didn’t like me.” 

“Yeah. Maybe ‘cause you’re prettier than her?” Bakura smirked. 

“That isn’t funny.” Ryou shot back.

“It wasn’t meant to be.” Bakura took the book out of his partner’s hands and then tossed it aside. “You didn’t answer my question to my satisfaction. Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“The nearest shelter after I put everything somewhere in storage.” Ryou answered. 

“You’re coming home with me tonight. You ain’t going to no shelter!” Bakura differed, all plans changing in his little mind.

“I don’t think that will work out.” Ryou stood up facing his other half. 

“Why wouldn’t it.” Bakura crossed his arms over his muscular chest. “Who knows you better than me and who knows me better than you?”

“The problem is you want more than I am willing to give you.” Ryou poked him in his chest. 

“I’ll lay off, but I ain’t waitin’ forever.” Bakura shot back. “There’s someone dying to kill you over it.”

“What do you mean?” Ryou asked.

“Malik has gone crazy and looking for virgins. He wants to summon some great power from beyond to get back at the pharaoh for locking him in the millennium rod.” Bakura answered.

Of course Bakura did not expect what came next. Ryou burst out laughing from Bakura’s explanation of why his life was in danger and his purity at stake. Why the hell was Ryou laughing at him?

“Can’t you come up with a better excuse than that?” Ryou contained himself. “Is the next one, your member will shrivel up and die?” 

Of course, this did not bode well with Bakura. What did he expect though? It was his own damn fault for trying to get his partner drunk enough to be loose! It never worked because like himself, Ryou also knew how to hold his liquor! Damn it! The gods were against him!!

Ryou stopped laughing noticing the expression on Bakura’s face. Was he serious? Was his life really in danger? Was Malik or Marik or what ever the hell his name was, insane enough to kill virgins? 

“You’re serious! There is no way in hell you are going to be touching me any time soon!” Ryou protested backing away. 

“Well, if you won’t let me do the honors, at least let me protect you from the stupid maniac!” Bakura pleaded. “It is my job to protect you, ya know!”

“I know it is, but I just don’t trust you. Why can’t you be like Yami!” Ryou shot back. 

“The stupid pharaoh? Do you really think he’s any different from me? He’s just being smooth and subtle about it! Yuugi is too naïve to notice what’s going on.” Bakura laughed. 

Oh great! 5000 year old horny adolescent men! Just what they needed! Should he warn Yuugi to be careful…oh wait…would Yuugi even believe him? Nope. Damn, Bakura did look good in those leathers…wait…what was he thinking!!! Bad Ryou, bad!!!

“I-I think it’s time we head downstairs. My friends will be here soon.” Ryou turned away from Bakura avoiding his eyes. 

“Leather turns ya on?” Bakura noticed how Ryou was avoiding look at him. 

“SHUT UP!!!” Ryou almost screamed back.

TBC…


	3. The Insanity, the Bitch, and Bakura!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night of the engagement party. Bakura is just getting started...

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. This is all done in fun! 

TWO

A dark cloaked figure wandered the streets of Domino in search of easy prey. Never would this figure think to soil his own hands. No. He would make his mind-controlled puppets do it. All he needed were the ones that were easy to control. 

The dark figure needed virgins and yes, he would take Bakura’s little minx away from him! Yuugi was next on his list. He pondered on keeping him around as a spare. Malik felt no one would want to touch the pharaoh’s brat. Mokuba was also on his list, but he wondered if sacrificing the Kaiba brat would give Rah indigestion! Hell no! He would not touch him! Using Mokuba for ransom would be the best idea to finance his organization. This kid was always kidnapped and Seto always rescued his baby brother. One would think that Kaiba would get better security guards to protect Mokuba! 

There was easy prey was just in his path. A gang of lost teenage souls was what he needed. No one would miss them. Their families didn’t seem to care where they went if they were out there. Reaching inside his cloak, Malik took out the Millennium Rod and chanted a spell. The lost group of teens stopped their chattering as their eyes went blank, their souls being suppressed. 

Satisfied with his work, Malik walked toward the group as they turned to face him. When he was through using them, the coroners would have a field day trying to figure out why they died. His mind control sapped a person’s energy which came from their soul.

“I want you punks to bring me back three people. One is Yuugi Mutou. The next is Ryou Bakura. The last is Mokuba Kaiba. Bring them to the basement of Domino Museum. Be aware though. Their guardians are dangerous and if you have to, bring them along.” Malik watched as the group of six teens departed. “Just you wait Pharaoh. I will kill you in more ways than one.”

Of course, the mind-controlled gang members had no idea who these people were. So they were forever lost to Malik…

Speaking of the Pharaoh….

This was the last time he was going to agree to go anywhere with Yuugi. The poor kid worked himself, burning both ends of the candle just to reward himself with falling asleep on the way to Ryou’s house. 

Pulling up to the curb, Yami turned off the car. He would have to have a talk with his partner about taking it easy more. Yuugi could not do full-time college and then manage the damn shop at the same time! His grandfather was going to have to breakdown and hire someone to work in the store! Yami wondered if his grandfather was being a cheap bastard!

“Nice car, Tut.” Bakura walked up to the car, cigarette in hand, leaning against the passenger side. “What’s wrong with the kid?”

“One, get off the car, Bakura. Second, he’s burning himself out.” Yami answered.

“Life of a college student.” Bakura got off the car and then hopped into the backseat of the convertible. “Leather interior! I’m impressed! Nothing less for a Pharaoh, eh?”

“More or less. Use the ashtray!” Yami ordered as he began driving. “I will not have any ashes in this car!” 

“I wouldn’t dream of burning up your precious interior.” He flicked the ashes in the ashtray in the back. “I can see why you’re concerned. Ryou’s pre-med and he has no time for a life. Now daddy dearest is kicking him out. Seems the new cunt in town doesn’t approve of sweet little Ryou and his girly looks. She’s probably jealous.”

“His step-mother? Why would she be jealous?” Yami asked.

“You know some women. They get jealous if some broad looks better than them.” He chuckled. “Seems they get jealous of pretty looking men too.”

“I don’t get it.” Yami shook his head. “That is the most stupid thing I have ever heard of.”

“Well, it gets worse. Daddy is cutting him out of his life and out of his will. Basically, Ryou’s mine to worry about. He may be 18, but he has no time for a job and even though he has a scholarship, it doesn’t pay for room and board. Bastard! I would live to rip his balls off since they probably fell off when he met that bitch! I would love to kill her for hurting Ryou like this. Her “precious” little baby brat boy will be moving into Ryou’s room. Precious my ass! That kid has been around town and then some. He’s done it, he’s seen it and he’s experienced it. He needs to stop with the innocent act.” Bakura wondered why he was even telling Yami this.

“So you’ll be taking Ryou in? I never thought you would do something like that.” Yami was confused by the Tomb Robber’s actions.

“Well, if I hadn’t come over tonight, the stupid little shit head would have been in a shelter. He would have never told me and then I would have lost track of him.” Bakura sighed. “I don’t think I could have lived with that. I turned my life around for him you know. I thought maybe down the road we could have had something. I doubt right now he’ll allow it.”

“You tried to come on to him, didn’t you?” Yami shook his head as Bakura didn’t answer. “If you think the world of him, maybe you should try to treat him with a lot more respect.”

“Whatever.” Bakura put out the cigarette as he leaned toward the front seat. “So, what about you and the shrimp?”

“I’m not you, Bakura. My idea of a future is reclaiming Egypt, getting myself a lovely Nubian Queen by my side, and lots of children.” Yami stated.

“Would you like a side of Prozac with that?” Bakura snorted. “Get real, Tut! No one is gonna believe you’re some 5000 year old Pharaoh coming back to reclaim Egypt. They’ll lock you up in the mental institution.”

“I know.” Yami sighed mournfully. 

“Are you waiting for the kid to look like a man?” Bakura kept on jabbing him.

“I don’t think of him the way you think of Ryou.” Yami wished Bakura would stop.

“Then what do you think of him,” Bakura asked.

“Like a younger brother and nothing more,” Yami answered as they arrived at the Bakura residence. “I’m just really pissed at his grandfather right now. I sometimes wonder what it would be like for him if I never entered into his life.”

“Guess what! You’ll never have to think of that.” Bakura smiled deviously as he leaned toward Yuugi’s seat. 

“What are you doing?” Yami asked as he turned off the engine.

“Watch!” His grin became more devious as he moved closer to the sleeping teen, his mouth close to his ear. “I want to fuck your brains out and then leave you dead in a dumpster somewhere!”

“BAKURA!!!” Yami shouted outraged as Yuugi woke up, eyes wide opened, his chest heaving. 

“It got him up, didn’t it?” He laughed heartily as he collapsed into the back seat. “It’s just a joke, pharaoh! Get over it!”

Yuugi managed to calm himself down after realizing it was only Bakura playing a practical joke. His eyes narrowed, angry and wanting to kill the once tomb robber. Taking off his seat belt, he turned around. Bakura stopped laughing at Yuugi’s expression. If looks could kill, he’d be dead right now.

“Uh, hey kiddo! It was just a joke!” Bakura laughed uneasily.

“Oh?” Yuugi climbed more into the back seat. “Well, I guess it will be a joke when I RIP YOUR FUCKING LUNGS OUT!!” Yami had to catch a very deranged Yuugi, keeping his partner from attacking Bakura. 

Yami dragged his partner into his lap, locking his arms around him. What the hell was wrong with him? Yuugi had been really stressed, but the pharaoh figured it was time to take some action quickly before someone got hurt! 

“Calm down! Bakura was only joking, as crude as it was!” He shot a look at the white-haired man. “Yuugi, you’re working too hard and I think maybe we should turn around and go home. When we get home, we’re going to have a long talk with your grandfather because you are not acting like yourself.”

Yuugi went limp in his arms, the fight leaving his body. Yami was right. He was working too hard. It didn’t help that Yami was gone half the time either. 

“Sorry.” He whispered brokenly.

Bakura managed to get out of the car, avoiding the crazed teen. Thank Rah Yami pulled Yuugi away before any damage was done. There was no way in hell he would let that shrimp get the upper hand. Yami knew Bakura would seriously hurt Yuugi if it came down to it. 

“Are you coming or are you going home?” Bakura asked. “I need to tell Ryou something.”

“Just tell him that I need to get Yuugi home. Send my apologies.” Yami forced Yuugi to sit in his own seat. 

“If you can get the shrimp rested enough, why don’t we meet tomorrow afternoon in the burger joint?” Bakura asked as Yami made an expression of disgust. “Look, I can’t walk into a fancy restaurant looking like this! Besides, I like grease!”

“You have no taste. That’s what your problem is!” Yami shook his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Give Ryou my regrets.”

Yami drove off in his shiny new white Mercedes 550S. Bakura whistled lowly, admiring what this world had to offer in technology. He had to get one of those! Who knows, maybe he’d want to impress someone! 

Turning back toward the house, Bakura dreaded telling his partner that his friends were not coming. This was not what Ryou needed right now. 

The guests had all arrived. Ryou stayed within the confines of the library, but he knew he had to greet his guests in order to “keep up appearances”. Why? Sooner or later they would all find out the truth. The slut that broke up the family because she was bitter over the attention Ryou received from his own father. What a sick woman to be jealous of someone’s child.

Strong arms wrapped around Ryou’s waist. While this was comforting if said person did anything they weren’t supposed to…

“Hello, Bakura.” Ryou smiled. 

“Hello yourself. Yuugi had a nervous breakdown, so he and the Pharaoh won’t be coming.” Bakura stated.

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t want them to meet her anyway. After all, I’m not going to be part of their lives anymore.” Ryou almost choked out.

Yep, this was really hurting his partner and it made Bakura angry. The day of the wedding, oh yeah! The bitch was going to be in for one hell of a surprise! He was sure that Ryou was invited. After all, he was sure that the family wanted to keep up “appearances.”

“Hey Ryou, you got a date for the wedding?” Bakura asked.

“No. Why?” The other asked.

“Let me escort you there. After all, you need someone to be there for you.” Ryou could not see the devious grin on his dark half. “Think of it this way. You have to keep up appearances for those social snobs, right? I’m sure her brat will have someone there. You shouldn’t be denied that.”

“I’ll talk to my father about it.” Ryou sighed as he disentangled himself from Bakura’s grasps. “I really don’t want to even deal with them right now. I just want to leave and I can’t.”

“After the party, we’ll load your stuff into my car, okay?” Bakura knew what that was on his partner’s mind. “Mind you, I’ll have to take a cab home to get it…”

“Your car won’t be enough.” Ryou sat in the chair, his head bowed down. “I have to rent a truck.”

“Would you want to move the stuff in another room and then get it tomorrow?” Bakura asked as he leaned against the window. “At least bring some clothing tonight.”

“Sure.” Ryou sighed as he got off the chair. 

“I also wanted to ask you something else.” Ryou wondered if it would be something intelligent!

“Yes, Bakura.” He dreaded what the white-haired demon was going to ask him.

“When you move into my house, well, one day can you dress up as a uniformed school girl?” He asked as his eyes lit up and his lecherous grin widened.

All was quiet in the quaint rich neighborhood. Not one sound could be heard. Not one dog would bark…

“REAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” A scream tore through the silence of the quaint rich neighborhood.

“Maybe next time you have a thought, you won’t have to think so HARD about it!” Ryou left a moaning Bakura on the floor with his hands covering his recently abused groin.

TBC…heh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to update the Mercedes. In the original story, it was a 500S. Now it's a 550S. I doubt they went to 600 because Mercedes had that model years ago. The 600SL was a V12. I doubt there was a 600S. 
> 
> If anyone gets offended by Bakura's remarks about "some" women, um, I am a woman myself. We are not perfect angels and I have seen this crap go down too often! If we are supposed to pull each other up, then we need to stop tearing each other down because one is more talented, smarter, thinner, or prettier. Jealousy and pettiness is a very ugly thing and even I had to learn that growing up. Food for thought! Remember, art imitates life!


	4. Bakura's Vodka Binge and Seto's Obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party must go on and Ryou is not happy about it. Meanwhile, Jonouchi wishes that Honda would stop acting like a total ass, but Kaiba pays a visit...

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a die hard fan with no sense of humor, don’t read this. If you are under 18, you should not be reading this unless you want to face the consequences. I don’t want to hear it from your parents! This is all done in fun! Mister Good Wrench belongs to General Motors.

THREE

Pulling into the wide alley behind the store, Yami stopped the car and then sighed. What a night! Yuugi desperately needed a life! Nothing but work and school. What about a girlfriend? What about Anzu? Sure, she was in America, but didn’t they have some sort of relationship before she left?

/No, Yami. / A voice answered his silent question. /It was you she was in love with. /

Yami was startled to hear Yuugi’s voice in his head. He thought he had hidden those thoughts.

//Partner, are you awake? //

/Now I am. / Yuugi opened his eyes. /Sorry. /

//No. You don’t have to be. I’m sorry that things didn’t work out between you two. // 

“I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” Yuugi sighed inwardly as he got out of the car. “I’m tired, I’m going to bed. See you in the morning, Yami.” He shut the door to the Mercedes. 

“Good night, Partner.” Yami watched the tired young man walk up the stairs into the back of the building. 

Yami slowly got out of his car. Closing his door, he began the process of putting on the hood in order to secure the car. He wished sometimes he would have gotten a hard top, but they were few in number and they didn’t have the one that he liked. 

“What is wrong with my grandson? He didn’t even acknowledge my greeting.” Solomon Motou disturbed his thoughts.

“Perhaps you and I should discuss it.” Yami walked up the stairs. “In the kitchen if you would.” He walked past the old man.

Solomon followed the young pharaoh. No matter how much they tried, they could never get Yami to stop his formal speech. It unnerved people at times.

“Yuugi has been stressed out. He fell asleep on the way to Ryou’s house. He almost attacked my friend who played a prank on him and believe me, Bakura could kill a person.” He motioned for Solomon to take a seat, never letting him get a word in as of yet until he deemed it so. “Yuugi cannot manage your shop and expect to pass his college courses at the same time.” He held his hand up before the old man could protest. “I’ll take care of his expenses. It’s not like I don’t have my own source of money.” Solomon closed his mouth. “You need to hire someone to manage your store when you cannot. Your grandson is tired and it’s only a matter of time before his grades start to drop. Do you want that to happen?”

“No.” Solomon sighed. “I’ll hire someone. I didn’t know it was getting that bad. He’s lucky to have someone like you look out for him.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you in the morning.” Yami walked out of the kitchen feeling better about the situation. 

Yami would tell his Partner tomorrow about the good news. At least some of the youth’s burden would be alleviated. 

The Vodka was great. Bakura had drunk the bottle down in a few slugs. He may have a solid body now thanks to Yugi’s wish for his Yami to be solid, but he knew how to hold his liquor. He also had to numb the aching feeling between his legs after Ryou slammed him there with his knee! 

Vodka was the strongest thing he had ever tasted. Bakura wondered why the Pharaoh did not have this good stuff in his private stash in the palace way back when. Heh! He would have enjoyed it! 

Ryou, Ryou, Ryou, oh where his little partnner? His tempting little angel! Oh how Bakura wished to worship that luscious body in every way possible! Oh yeah! One day Ryou!-Bakura thought as he drank down the rest of the bottle. First things first! Get rid of the insane mother fucker Malik! 

One thing Bakura loved was to watch Ryou in action. Finally he spotted his lovely angel talking amongst the guests, smiling and carrying on a conversation. It was good to see Ryou actually happy for once. Seeing his family must have brought that out of him. Of course, Bakura could never relate. His family was killed…

Of course the Tomb Robber would have to punish the cunt marrying his gutless father! Maybe a nice itch in an intimate area would suffice. It would be hell on their sex life. Heh! 

It was about time that Bakura needed to join his partner. Putting down the bottle on a snoozing old man’s head, he walked toward that which made him put his life back into perspective…whatever that perspective was. Slipping an arm around his partner’s shoulder, Ryou almost jumped out of his skin at the contact. 

Two young women turned toward the muscular form of Bakura as a devious smile graced his face. Right now, the lecherous Tomb Robber was thinking of a foursome. The two girls weren’t too bad! A bag over one of their heads would suffice! 

“So what are you lovely ladies doing here? What relation are you to the bride or groom?” Bakura asked putting on the charm. 

“We’re Ryou’s cousins.” The blond haired one replied. “Who are you?”

“His other half. Wanna do a four-OOF!” Ryou elbowed Bakura in his stomach before he could finish that thought.

“If you will excuse us!” Ryou grabbed Bakura by the arm and dragged him into his father’s study. 

Making Bakura sit in a chair doubled over, Ryou walked toward the door and then shut it, locking it so no one would walk in on their conversation. Leaning his forehead against the door, Ryou wondered how he was going to handle his other half. What was it going to take to get him to behave?

‘I can’t take this anymore. I can’t take my life like this. I can’t take someone wanting me just for one thing! I can’t stand the fact that I’m still alive while my mother and sister are dead!! Why? Life was just more unbearable after that! Maybe if I make Bakura really angry…’ Ryou stopped that train of thought. 

“First my nuts, and then my stomach. What’s next?” Bakura choked out. 

Ryou didn’t answer him. He didn’t even turn to look at him. The white haired man could feel the thief King’s eyes boring on his back. What could he say that would make Bakura see what he was doing? What was the point? Bakura would never change and anyway, it was time to end this…painfully.

“You have nothing to say? I have plenty to say to you.” Bakura started. “If you really think I wanted to be with those two, you’re sadly mistaken. In fact, one of them needs to put a bag over her head.” He heard Ryou giggle a bit at that. “I am what I am, Ryou, and I can’t change that. You need to let go of some of that class you have and live a little. I’m not saying that you and I should be alike, but I already turned my life around and you were the inspiration for that.”

“I shouldn’t have to be any kind of inspiration for you to do anything with your life.” Ryou answered back. 

“I didn’t ask you to feel anything about it.” Bakura shot back.

“You brought it up.” Ryou reminded him, turning from the door to face his other half. “In fact, why should I be any inspiration to you at all? You always thought I was weak. You always hated me. All of a sudden, you take in an interest in my life and then try to rescue me from my family. Why? Is it guilt? If it is, Bakura, I want no part of it!” Ryou shot at him. “I’ll just go to a shelter tonight. You can live your own life.”

“If I didn’t genuinely care about you, I wouldn’t be here!” Bakura wondered if Ryou hit his head on the way to the room and scattered his brain! “If I felt guilt, which I don’t, I wouldn’t be trying to get into your pants every second!”

That made Ryou blush. That surely got him out of his depressed state. He knew subconsciously he was trying to push Bakura into killing him by picking a fight. It was what he wanted. His mother and sister were dead. Why was he left behind only to be hurt even more by living? Why?

/Stop that! / A voice shouted in his head starting Ryou out of his dark thoughts. /No matter how hard you try, I’m not going to give you your wish! What would your mother think! What would your sister think! They may be gone, but if they were watching? You’d break their hearts! / 

Ryou looked away from Bakura. He was right. Ryou gasped as he felt two strong arms pull him into a gentle embrace. Had Ryou really changed this once dangerous person? Slowly, Ryou moved his arms around Bakura’s body burying his head into that strong shoulder. Quietly, he cried and Bakura could only hold him tighter, his left hand soothing him gently. 

“Weren’t you supposed to go to that British pansy’s party?” Honda asked Jounouchi as the blond finished fixing a car.

“I had to work overtime tonight and will you PLEASE…” He turned around facing his friend. “…stop insulting everyone! What the fuck is your goddamned problem! First you have a problem with Yuugi and now Ryou? Is Anzu or Yami next? Or maybe Mai? Or me for that matter! Oh, and let’s not forget Mister Kaiba and his little brother!” 

“I’m sure you think about Mister CEO all the time!” Honda scoffed. 

“Fuck you, Honda! Get lost!” Jounouchi turned away from him continuing to work on another broken down car in the garage. “Go home, okay? When you decide to act like a human being, then you can rattle my cage!”

“I’m just making a point.” Honda sighed.

“You’re acting like an asshole.” Jounouchi pointed out. “If you say that in front of Yami or Bakura, you’re going to wind up dead. You know how they feel about their other selves.”

“I know how Bakura feels about his other self quite clearly! It makes me sick! As far as Yami goes…” Honda was cut off by the blond.

“Shut up and go home! I don’t want to hear it!” Jounouchi groaned. “Get a girlfriend or something! Just go away!”

“Look man, we’ve been friends before Yuugi entered into all of our lives. You two became like brothers. What’s the deal!” Honda demanded.

“The deal is you’re a jealous prick and you’re weirding me out! Now go away!” Jounouchi whirled around with a wrench in hand. “If you don’t go, you’re gonna have a date with Mister Good Wrench up your ass!”

“I would do as the puppy says.” Another voice intervened. “You sound stupid and your conversation is insipid! If you want to know the details on everyone’s lives, I suggest you talk to them! Now leave!” Seto ordered as he walked into the garage.

“Oh great! Not you too.” Jounouchi groaned as he sat down on the front end of the car he was working on. “Go away!”

“Hey! I was here first you snob!” Honda shot back. 

“The only reason you even hang out with the Mutt anymore is to get closer to his sister! She’s with someone else! Get over it!” Seto grinned despite himself. 

Honda stormed out without another word. Seto nipped the whole thing in the bud. He never really liked the punk in the first place. Why did Jounouchi hang out with the loser in the first place!

“Please just shoot me and get it over with!” Jounouchi shook his tiredly. “I have worked two jobs in twenty hours and I’m not in the mood for anyone else right now.”

“I came here for an oil change. I gave the driver the night off and he informed me of this.” Seto replied. 

“Come back in the morning. I’m working overtime as it is to get these pieces of shit done. I don’t know why the owners of these cars don’t junk ‘em!” Jounouchi got off the car, grabbed a towel and began to wipe his hands off.

“As long as they pay the repair bill, what do you care?” Seto shot back. “I need the oil change now.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s too late.” Jounouchi walked past the CEO. “I told you to bring the car back tomorrow morning. Akira will work on it.”

“I don’t want some stranger working on my car. I want you to do it. I’ll pay you double.” Seto offered. 

“You really are a persistent pain in the ass.” The blond faced him. “You know the damn engine ain’t gonna explode if I don’t do it here and now! What the hell are you really here for!”

“The truth?” Kaiba asked.

“No, I want you to lie! Of course I want the truth!” Jounouchi exploded. 

“You know that your sister has been seeing my brother, right?” Seto started.

“Yeah. He’s the only one who’s worth her time to me. What’s your point?” The blond asked.

“She’s worried about you and she doesn’t know how to approach you about it.” Seto finished.

“So why isn’t your brother here instead of you? I know he’s not afraid to talk to me!” Jounouchi crossed his arms over his spartner muscular chest. 

“Because this is not something a child should be discussing with an adult.” Seto growled as he walked closer to the blond. “Your sister is worried that you only work to support your dead beat father! She’s afraid you are not going to get anywhere in life while he’s alive and when he dies, it will be too late.”

“Well, the divorce court split us up, so my dad was my problem since I was 15. The bastard gets drunk all the time! What am I suppose to do! Live on the streets? My mom is not going to take me in, God knows why! I don’t think I’ve done anything to make her hate me!” Jounouchi started. “Going to college like the rest of you is out of the damned question! So tell me, great Kaiba, what the fuck am I suppose to do!” 

“Let your father hit rock bottom and let him get help.” Seto calmly replied. “Come live with me. This isn’t any kind of life. I have plenty of room to spare.”

“Thanks, but no thanks! I don’t accept charity.” Jounouchi turned away from the CEO. 

“Don’t think of this as charity. Think of this as a fresh start. You’re young. You don’t have a life. You don’t even have a girlfriend for crying out loud! The only people you associate with are too busy to even condescend to talk to you.” Seto pointed out. “May I go on?”

“I don’t want to have to owe anyone anything.” Jou whispered. 

“I don’t need you to owe me anything. Just keep one job and go to school. You’re not a stupid person, Jou.” Seto felt the hair on the back of his neck stand.

Quickly drawing his gun, he stood in front of Jounouchi. There was someone there. Someone was in the shadows of the garage. Being who he was, Seto was always on edge. He had a lot of enemies and any friends he made could be used against him in the end. Everyone wondered why he was so cold. This was the reason. His one weakness standing behind him…

“Come out! Face me like a man or whatever the hell you are!” Seto demanded. 

A slim figure holding a golden scepter walked out of the shadows. His blond hair stood out from his dark complexion. He had a lithe build and eye make up that looked Egyptian. There were three bangles around his neck and decorative earrings hanging from his lobes.

“Halloween is over you idiot and the shop is closed! Leave!” Seto demanded. 

“Is that the way to greet one of the Tomb Protectors? I have a job for you High Priest.” Marik started.

“Look you mental case, I told the pharaoh, if he really is one, and the walking gonad that I don’t believe in that shit I saw in the museum about a past life with you three idiots! If I did have one, I hope it was a peaceful one on the other side of this planet!” Seto growled. 

“Oh, but it is true! You see, I need your powers to do a little ritual in order to get back the Pharaoh for many crimes against humanity that his father caused and the fact he sealed me in a millennium item. I’m surprised Bakura doesn’t try to get him back.” Marik started.

“I think Bakura is happy chasing Ryou!” Seto shot back. “Why don’t you just get a hobby or something?”

“I’M TIRED OF EVERYONE TELLING ME THAT!!! FIRST BAKURA, THAN THE STRANGER ON THE STREET I KILLED AND THEN YOU!!! I AM SANE!!! DO YOU HEAR ME??? I AM SANE!!!!” Marik shouted on the top of his lungs.

“I think the whole planet heard you.” Seto smirked, the gun still trained on the insane man. 

“SHUT UP!!!!” Marik shouted back.

“Have you ever thought about seeing a psychologist for your mental problem? I think shock therapy by electrocution would benefit you!” Seto was goading the insane man.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jounouchi whispered. 

“Creating an excuse to shoot him.” Seto hissed back. “Just keep quiet mutt!”

“You call me that again and you’ll have to have my foot surgically removed from your ass!” Jounouchi growled back. 

“I’ll ignore that.” Seto kept his attention on Marik. “What is it going to be, freak! A bullet in the head or are you going to leave?”

“I’ll be back and then you will remember your place!” Marik walked out.

“IT’LL BE YOU WHO NEEDS TO LEARN HIS PLACE!!!” Seto shouted back. “YOU COME NEAR ME AGAIN AND I’LL KILL YOU!!!”

Jounouchi raised a brow. Why was Seto so angry? Not making a sound, Jou watched Seto place the gun back inside his concealed holster. So, the CEO carried a concealed weapon…

“Ummm…are you okay?” Jounouchi had no idea on what to say.

Of course Seto did not respond. It was as if he was deep in thought. Something deep inside wanted him to remember who he was in a previous life. Something told him it was important that he know. His eyes narrowed.

‘Why do they want me to remember my previous life? What did I do that was so important? What role did they play? Were they my friends, my enemies? Maybe I should just kill the stupid freak and worry about it later!’ Kaiba thought. ‘I’ll ask the stupid pharaoh about it.’

“Kaiba, you’re freaking me out man.” Jounouchi tried to get his attention. “Hey, WAKE UP!!” He practically shouted. 

‘The freak is back!’ Thought Kaiba as he instantly reacted to the voice.

The blond didn’t see it coming. A hand came out and smacked his hard across the face sending him flying to the ground. Jounouchi landed head first on the concrete floor seeing stars. Why the hell did he do that??

Seto snapped out of his thoughts to see what he had done. He just heard someone trying to get his attention. Thinking that it was Marik, he lashed out without thinking about it. He quickly got his wits about him and then walked toward the fallen man.

“Are you okay?” Kaiba crouched down next to Jounouchi, his arm lacing underneath the blonde’s back helping him to sit up. “Do you have a headache? Is your vision okay?”

“What the fuck was that for?” Jounouchi growled, his hand coming in contact with his own forehead. 

“I thought it was him again.” Seto confessed.

“Or maybe you’re looking for an excuse to smack me around.” The blond snapped.

“I wouldn’t waste my time.” Seto grabbed Jou’s hand and forced him to stand up.

The move set the blond off balance and Kaiba had to grab him before he could fall. He really needed a hospital. 

“We’re going to the hospital. I think you hit your thick skull too hard!” Seto growled. 

“Ha, ha! Funny! You’re such a comedian! Don’t quit your day job!” Jounouchi spat. “I have to shut the place down.”

“Give me the keys.” Seto insisted as the blond reached into his pocket and handed the CEO the keys. 

“This has been the worst night of my life!” Jounouchi growled as they headed for the door.

TBC


	5. Barbie Dolls and Dumb Blonds!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryou winds up at Bakura's huge house, but what is that dream that Bakura is having? Meanwhile, Yami wonders about Jou's intelligence...

CHAPTER FOUR

Things had gone down hill after the party was over. All of the guests left. The small family had kept up appearances so the rest of the family would not know what was happening. Ryou had to restrain Bakura from killing the bitch, at the same time, he had to keep his wits about him. There was no way in hell Ryou was going to breakdown in front of anyone. 

Ryou had not said a word on the drive home to Bakura’s spacious house. Wow, where did the thief king get the money to buy this place? He hoped against hope that Bakura did not rob a bank. Bakura had retired to his room to get some sleep, while Ryou got himself acquainted with the layout of the house. Bakura showed him the room he would be occupying and where the kitchen was. Ryou could not believe the size of the kitchen! It was huge with a wood island in the center and granite counter tops everywhere. The refrigerator was stainless steel and huge! 

Finding his way back from the kitchen with an ice filled pitcher of water and a glass, Ryou walked back to the room that Bakura had given him. The albino was glad he didn’t have to sleep in Bakura’s bed! The pervert did not hide his feelings or his intentions too well. Guess that was the best and worst thing Ryou liked about him. Not too many people were like that…maybe that was a good thing! 

Sadlyy, Ryou reflected on his father telling him he was disowned. His father was then spewing such hatred that Ryou felt his heart shatter into a million pieces, the tears though, being held at bay. He wouldn’t give the bastard the satisfaction! Bakura wanted to kill him, but Ryou wouldn’t let him. It would be pure hell for his father to live with the stupid bitch as it was! At least some good would come out of it! This is what he knew his father thought:

He hated his son…

He hated the fact he hardly looked masculine…

He hated the fact he was alive while his wife and daughter were dead…

He hated the fact that Bakura had corrupted his son even further…

Ryou had left without another word, dragging a resisting Bakura behind him yelling and cursing at them until the door was shut. Dragging the muscular man was not an easy feat! The Tomb Robber wanted to castrate Ryou’s father and shove his balls down his throat! That was a tempting site, but he didn’t want Bakura to waste his time in jail for it. 

Ryou wondered if his father felt like that all along. If he had, why didn’t he say anything? His thoughts were cut off as he heard some moans coming from Bakura’s room. Slowly walking up to the closed door, Ryou placed his ear against it. 

“Ryou…” He heard Bakura’s voice call out to him.

Great! Now what did he want? Damn the mind link! Ryou slowly opened the door with his body since Bakura left it a bit opened. His eyes widened at the site on the bed.

Sheets were half way down Bakura’s dark muscled toned bare chest…his well toned arms above his head and his white hair stuck to his face as a sheen of sweat covered his body…was Bakura running a fever???

“Oooooooooh Ryou, you feel sooooooo good…” Okay, this was getting scary! 

Ryou’s eyes narrowed as he slowly approached the bed. With the pitcher of water still in hand, the albino sat down on the bed as he watched Bakura’s expression.

“Oh Bakura…” Ryou started.

“Yessssssss?” He moaned.

“What are you thinking?” Ryou was going to play this for what it was worth! 

“Uh…I think I can’t think right now...can’t we talk after I’m finished?” Bakura started.

“Finished with what!” Ryou demanded.

“Don’t be so naïve, Ryou! You know…” Bakura was still talking in his sleep.

“Know what…” The albino was getting really pissed at this point.

“The horizontal mambo…” A smile graced the Tomb Robber’s face.

Eyes as wide as saucers, Ryou couldn’t help but stare for the moment at Bakura. HE was the object of his wet dreams??? 

That did it! That was his resolve to taken action! Eyes narrowing, Ryou poured the ice cold water on Bakura’s crotch.

“EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” Bakura screamed as he woke up panting. “MY BALLS!!! MY BALLS!! THEY’RE THE SIZE OF RAISINS!!! DAMN IT!!!” He shot up out of bed and noticed Ryou sitting right there. “What the fuck did you do that for!!!?” 

“The horizontal mambo?” Ryou growled.

“What? That was really you talking?” Bakura asked.

“Yes! I heard you call my name! I thought there was something wrong with you!” Ryou started. “I didn’t imagine it was me in your dreams!”

“Do you really think that I can control what I dream of? So what if it was you I was dreaming of! Aren’t you even flattered?” Bakura demanded.

“Are you even for real!” Ryou demanded.

“I know you are!” Bakura grinned deviously as he got out of bed and then walked toward the bathroom. “Thanks for the wake up call! Now I have to put on another pair of bottoms just to cream those!”

Ugh! Didn’t he ever stop? Why did Bakura have to be so vile? Why couldn’t he be like Yami? Oh wait! Didn’t Bakura say something about the Pharaoh’s little crush on Yuugi or was that a lie? 

“It wasn’t true!” A voice answered his unspoken thought.

“That wasn’t for you to hear!” Ryou retorted. 

“Too bad! Use better shields next time!” Bakura walked out of the bathroom. “Sorry if I offend you, but you need to lighten up. As far as the pharaoh is concerned, he’s straight as an arrow. He also needs a good dose of Prozac!” He sat on the bed next to Ryou. “He wants to rule Egypt, have a wife and a few million children! One brat is enough!” 

“What about Yuugi?” Ryou asked.

“He’ll probably keep the shrimp around for entertainment!” Bakura snorted. “I swear, the squirt will never grow, never get laid! For crying out loud, look at his grandfather! One look at him and the chics will go screaming away from Yuugi!”

“That’s mean.” Ryou stated.

“It’s the truth! There’s a difference.” Bakura shot back. 

“What about my father!” Ryou demanded.

“What about him? I wouldn’t fuck him on a good day!” Bakura wondered where this conversation was going. “No Ryou, you don’t look like him! You look like your mom. She was hot!”

“You don’t even know my mother!” Ryou became angry.

“Don’t get your nuts in a twist! We shared the same body once, remember? I snuck into your soul room! I was a thief you know! I can break into anything!” Bakura crossed his arms across his muscular chest. “That’s not all I discovered! Heh!” 

“WHAT!!!” Ryou demanded. 

“You played with Barbie dolls!” Bakura taunted in a sing song voice.

“I DID NOT!!!” Ryou shouted. 

“Did so!” 

“DID NOT!!!”

“Aww come on! I saw you play Barbie with your sister! She had a Barbie and you had a Ken doll.” Bakura teased noticing the dark expression in Ryou’s eyes. “I mean really! Why would they create a male doll with no dick! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Barbie stole his balls!!!” 

This was really REALLY embarrassing! How could he have forgotten that episode? His mom MADE him play that with her! It wasn’t like he WANTED to play. He thought it would never come back to haunt him. He was wrong…

“Are you finished?” Ryou asked flatly.

“Uh…no! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!” Bakura persisted.

Ryou just picked up one of the pillows and then swatted Bakura across the head with it. The elder man just fell on the floor still laughing at Ryou’s expense. What did the albino expect! 

“Hey Ryou! You wanna experiment with Ken and see what’s really going on down there?” Bakura gasped out.

“Oh Bakura, would you like to find out how it is to BE like Ken?!” Ryou growled. 

“You have a sense of humor too now!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…heh…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Bakura was practically in tears. 

“Just when I think you’re mature, you prove me wrong. I’m going to bed.” Ryou got up off the bed. “By the way Bakura, my mother MADE me play Barbie with my sister.” He walked out as Bakura laughed even harder. 

“Wait!” Bakura practically sat up, calming himself down. “Ryou! Don’t-Don’t be mad!” 

The morning came and Yami knocked on Yuugi’s door. All he got was a “go away”. It’s was 10am and they had to meet the others at 11:30am.

“Get up Partner! We’re going to be late!” Yami scolded. 

“So what!” Came back the response.

Sighing, Yami wondered what he was going to do. Leaning his head against the door, a thought popped into his mind. When Yuugi was fifteen, if Yami wouldn’t talk to him, he would start singing that blasted song that never ended! Ugh! Whoever made up the song should have been sent to the Shadow Realm a long time ago!

“Oh Yuuuuuuugi.” Yami sing-songed. “If you don’t get up, I’ll sing that song that never ends…off key!”

“NO!!!” The door flew opened with a wide eyed Yuugi. 

“Oh? So, you can dish the torture, but you cannot stand it yourself?” Yami crossed his arms over his muscular chest. 

“I am sooooooo sorry I ever taught you that!” Yuugi growled walking past him. 

“We’re meeting Bakura and Ryou at the burger place.” Yami talked to the closed door of the bathroom.

“Bring the ant-acids!” Yuugi shouted back. “The grease in those burgers are enough to do an oil change in your car!”

“Be ready by eleven. Do you want to call Jou and ask him to come?” Yami asked loudly.

“Yeah sure.” Came back the response as the shower was turned on. 

Shaking his head, Yami walked back downstairs. He heard Yuugi’s grandfather talking to someone downstairs. He hoped it was someone he was going to hire for the shop. Walking toward the door of the game shop, Yami spotted some pimpled face geek of a kid with his hat on backwards. By Ra! Who let this creature exist? Yuugi never had that kind of skin! 

Backing away from the site that was slowly killing his appetite, Yami walked toward the phone to call Jounouchi. Dialing the number, the phone began to ring on the other side and a gruff voice answered.

“Hello?” It asked flatly.

“My I speak to Jounouchi?” Yami asked.

“You could if he was here! The little Son of a Bitch never came back last night! Who are you anyway? One of his fag friends? If you see him, tell him I’m going to kick that shit out of that ungrateful little fucker!” The phone slammed down in Yami’s ears.

Slowly putting the phone down with wide eyes, Yami wondered where Jounouchi could be. Did he sleep at the shop again? At that moment, the phone rang. 

Slowly and steadily, Yami answered the phone. One trauma today was enough! Putting the receiver by his ear, he answered.

“Hello?” Was all he said.

“Yami! Where’s Yuugi! I need to talk to him!” Yami held the phone a few inches away from his ear. ‘I am going to go deaf today.’ He thought. 

Placing the phone back to his ear, he answered. “Jou, talk a little lower okay? I can hear you fine. Yuugi is in the shower. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong since we both share a link!” He grounded out.

“Uh, oh yeah! I forgot!” By Rah was Jounouchi a true blond! “I am at Kaiba’s mansion. I’ll be here for now on.”

“Does he have you on a leash or something?” Yami couldn’t resist as he heard Yuugi laugh through their link. 

“HA! HA! Funny! No! He doesn’t! My sister got so concerned about me, that she and Kaiba decided it was in my best interest to have them take over my life!” He growled. 

“Oh and supporting your dead beat father is a better life?” Yami asked.

“No.” Jou answered exasperated. 

“If you ask me, I think you were offered a chance at a better life. I would take it.” Besides, Seto would straighten him out!

“I guess.” Jou sounded defeated. “They want me to go to school. I don’t think I’ smart enough.”

“Why would you say that?” Yami asked feeling Yuugi’s concern through the link. “I think you’re…well…”

/Don’t you even say it! / Yuugi’s voice warned on the other end. 

//STUPID!!! // Came back the response through the link //I didn’t say it out loud! I thought it! He is a blond in every respect of the word! His sister is just dumb as he is! In fact, his mother and father should have never gotten together to breed more stupid kids! If he wasn’t practically like your brother, I would have sent his stupid ass to the Shadow Realm! // And Yuugi thought Bakura was bad!

/Yami, he’s not stupid! Just encourage him! / Yuugi prodded. 

//Is stupidity no longer a word? // Yami demanded. “You can do it Jou! Remember, it’s your life. You can do much more than being a mechanic. //Maybe a male stripper. // A devious smile crossed his face.

/Yami! /Yuugi yelled through the mind link.

//Sorry Partner! // Yami answered sweetly through the link. 

“You’re right! I’m going back to school! Maybe I’ll get my GED!” Yami smacked his own forehead. 

“Didn’t you graduate?” Yami demanded. 

“Nope. I got suspended towards the end of the year for beating up the hall monitor! They told me to go to summer school, but my dad wouldn’t have it!” Maybe Jou really wasn’t all the dumb…his father was an idiot for keeping him from reaching his full potential…

“I didn’t know that. No wonder I didn’t see you at the graduation.” Yami stated. 

/Ask him if he wants to go to the burger place! /Yuugi interrupted his thoughts.

“Do you want to join me, Yuugi, Bakura and Ryou at the burger place?” Yami asked.

“Sure! I’ll be there!” Jounouchi answered as the phone clicked. 

“Uh…be there at 11:30? Oh well.” Yami hung the phone up. 

“So when is he coming?” Yuugi walked in drying his long hair.

“He is going to meet us there I guess. He hung up before I could ask him anything.” Yami turned toward his partner. “You look like a drowned rat, Partner.”

“Thanks for the observation.” Yuugi wrapped his head in the towel. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.” He walked away. 

“It was just a joke…by Rah, I have got to get him to relax!’ Yami growled.

Tbc…heh


	6. Bunny Ryou and Mary Sue gets hers!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out more about Atem and Bakura scares off all the customers and the poor cashier!

Bakura absolutely loved having Ryou on his arm. It made him feel powerful. It made him feel…horny… Ryou felt it through their shared connection and he so wanted to kick him in the…

They entered the greasy spoon of a burger place. God, it was awful, but Bakura loved the damn grease! One would think he was deprived of total and utter crap when he was alive in Ancient Egypt…oh wait, yes he was, but was he willing to commit gastronomical suicide? Ryou knew that Bakura cringed at his habit of eating salad, but it was the only menu item that was edible to him. Yes, he was thin, but why was Bakura so worried about that?

“Sit here.” He gently shoved Ryou in a booth. “I’ll get us some REAL food for a change! You are not eating rabbit food today!”

“Bakura! I don’t like the stuff here!” Ryou protested.

“I’ll get you something healthy! You’re too thin!” He walked away as the albino sighed.

Bakura was taking too much of an interest in his dietary habits. Was he too thin? Ryou didn’t think he was that thin! Bakura practically shoved eggs and toast down his throat this morning. No cereal! 

Right now Ryou wished to be a rabbit. At least they ate healthy…

//A rabbit? I could arrange that! // A voice leered in his head. //Maybe a cute little Playboy bunny outfit…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? //

/BAKURA!!!! / Ryou yelled back through the link almost making Bakura fall over in pain. /Get your mind out of the gutter for once! /

//Uh…no?// the voice came back as Ryou sighed. 

Figures! Just when Ryou thought Bakura was becoming more grounded…sigh. Staring at the door hoping that Yuugi and Yami would come in, Ryou sighed even more. They weren’t coming…Yuugi must be having a nervous breakdown again! 

Of course Yami had tuned Yuugi out since they left the shop. He had no idea what his partner was saying. It wasn’t that he didn’t care…okay…he really didn’t care to hear all about Anzu’s wonderful life in this place called America. He really REALLY found her annoying! 

Ra must have smiled upon him as Burger World was fast approaching. He nodded appropriately to whatever Yuugi was saying and then managed to park the car in a spot where his Benz wouldn’t get hit. 

Yuugi quickly jumped out of the car, his monologue stopping a while ago. Why did Bakura like this Ra awful place! 

Yuugi had gone in first, anxious to meet Ryou. The pharaoh guessed getting a good night’s sleep did something for his partner’s mood… ‘reminder to self…get a new name! Yami is awful!’

Slowly walking into the dreadful “Grease Pit of Doom”, Yami spotted Bakura in line. He was suspiciously calm for someone who did not have any patience. He walked over to the Tomb Robber much to the consternation of the other people in line.

“HEY!! GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE!!” The guy behind him yelled before Yami could greet Bakura.

“Fuck off you peasant!” The Pharaoh shot back as he turned around. 

“WHAT DID YOU SAY!!!” The guy behind him yelled.

“He said fuck off you asshole before we both wipe the floor with you and then send you to the Shadow Realm!” Bakura sized up the guy with a switch blade pointed under the idiot’s chin. 

“Hey! I’m cool!” The guy said as Bakura deviously grinned at the beads of sweat coming from the stupid mortal. 

Putting his switch blade away, Bakura faced away from his recent almost victim. Things he did for friends…yeesh…Ryou was really rubbing off on him.

“So, have you burned up any escaped death row inmates lately?” Bakura figured to really scare the people around them.

“Not lately. Couldn’t find any.” Yami answered as the people behind them began to back away. “Can’t give Burger World a bad rep you know…millions served, one inmate burned?” 

“Yup! Next it will be asshole customers who have a problem with people cutting in line! Now that would be something I would pay to see!” The line cleared out. “Heh! Works every time!” Bakura grinned in triumph as Yami grinned deviously also. 

Ryou watched with wide eyes as the line cleared outside. The sounds of cars slamming shut and then tires screeching away astounded him. Did those two really scare the customers that much?? 

/Bakura, why did you do that? / Ryou asked.

//The sooner we get our order, the sooner I could put my hand down your pants! Heh! // Came back the answer.

/BAKURA!!! /Ryou shouted back as the elder man shot back erotic images that made Ryou blush. /I hate you. I really REALLY hate you! /

//You looooooooooooooooooove me and you know it! // Bakura laughed. 

/Shut up before I give you another reminder of how painful thinking like that is! / The albino threatened as Bakura gulped. 

Oh yeah! Forgot about that! Bakura seriously considered wearing a cup so Ryou couldn’t slam his nuts in anymore. He was sure that the “Bakura” genome line was at an end. No more dreams of little demons like himself running around. Heh. His own army from Hell! He would lead his evil minions as they would take over the world! Yeah right…

Bakura knew Ryou had him wrapped around his little finger…he had to find that finger and jinx it fast! It was those damn doe like eyes! So big, so green, so beautiful! Reminded him of the emeralds he stole once… That face! That lovely feminine looking face! That hair! What the hell were his parents on when he was conceived??

“SIR!!! Can I take your order please!” A voice shouted into Bakura’s thoughts.

Okay, this pimpled face punk was gonna die a horrible death! Getting in the kid’s face…but not too close in fear of catching the epidemic, Bakura bared his teeth.

“Do that again and I’ll rip your throat out!” Bakura hissed as he backed away. “I want a number 12 and SUPERSIZE IT and I want LOTS of GREASE on the fries! I also need a damned chicken sandwich, broiled, not fried, and a nice bottle of water to go with it! Oh yeah, the rabbit wants his side salad with it and the dressing better be vinegarette!” Bakura thundered making the boy back away. 

“Y-Yes sir.” He replied as he punched up the order. 

Yuugi and Ryou talked about the usual stuff going on in their lives, except Ryou had held some things back. There was no way he was going to have his friends deal with his problems further. 

“I SAID EXTRA GREASE YOU PIMPLED FACED GEEK!” They both cringed when they heard that. 

“Why does Bakura like grease so much?” Yuugi asked.

“I just don’t stay in the same room with him after he eats it!” Ryou shook his head. “I have got to break him of that. He’s not immortal anymore. He’s going to give himself a heart attack! I’m surprised he hasn’t gained anything from it!” 

“Let him have his fun! He hasn’t been alive that long to even be concerned about that!” Ryou turned toward Yuugi with a bored expression.

“Despite it all, you still are not on the same page with the rest of us, are you.” Ryou said as he raised a brow, his chin resting on the palm of his right hand. “You think being young means you’re indestructible? I don’t think so.” Ryou said as he sat straight up. “You still have to watch out for yourself and still eat healthy!” 

“We can’t all be cute little rabbits like you!” Bakura sat down and placed the tray between himself and Ryou. “Here is your salad; here is your water, your fancy dressing and your chicken sandwich!” He placed the items before Ryou as his eyes widened. “What?”

“Chicken? You got me a chicken sandwich? A poor little chicken died to be on this thing!” Ryou started as Bakura groaned.

“Chickens are dumb domesticated animals. They were dumb domesticated animals 5000 years ago and they still are the same dumb domesticated animals today! I don’t see much evolution going on for you to feel guilty over! Just eat it! You need to grow!” Bakura pointed out. 

“Okay.” Ryou gave in. 

Yami walked toward the table and then placed the tray in front of Yuugi. Yami only sat down, not wanting anything from that Rah Forsaken place! 

“On a diet or something?” Bakura commented.

“You couldn’t pay me to eat anything in this place!” Yami wrinkled his nose in disgust. “How you guys eat this crap is beyond me.”

“Very easily! I put it in my mouth, I bite a piece off and I swallow it!” Bakura stated. “You should try it sometime.”

“No thanks.” Yami looked away.

“You eat at home right? What’s the difference?” Bakura asked.

“The difference is I know who cooked it.” Yami stated. “I prefer better places than this!”

“Excuse me you royal pain in the ass, but I don’t like those places!” Bakura shot back. 

“Can you two talk civilly to each other?” Ryou interrupted. “I don’t feel like breaking up a fight.”

“Speaking of that, how did it go last night?” Yami asked.

“My father disowned me. I am officially orphaned.” Ryou stated without emotion which shook Bakura to the core. “Still have to keep up appearances and all. You know how that is, right Yami?”

“No, I don’t know how that is. What the hell are you talking about?” Yami crossed his arms over his muscular chest. 

“Pretend things are okay when they aren’t. Even in your rule as Pharaoh, you must have had to do that.” Ryou pointed out.

“My father did, I didn’t.” Yami corrected him. “I didn’t believe in it. I didn’t like him anyway.”

“You didn’t?” Ryou was surprised. “Why on Earth not?”

“He was a terrible ruler. He killed people for no reason and when it came my turn to rule, I had a hell of a time with it. Even my own damn Priest Seth turned against me!” Yami huffed. “I wanted to rule peacefully. It took me a couple of years to get everyone’s trust and then build towards some kind of peaceful society. Then things started to happen and then…” He trailed off.

“You got trapped in the puzzle somehow?” Ryou finished. “How did Bakura wind up in the Ring?”

“He was trapped in there for reasons I am not going to discuss.” Yami glared at Bakura. “Since he has turned his life around, I don’t see any reason to bring up his past.”

“And I’m glad you didn’t.” Bakura shot back. 

“Anyway, Ryou, maybe you should talk to your father and see if you two can reconcile. There is no reason for you two to be fighting.” Yami pointed out.

“I am not going to be the one to make the first move. He wanted it this way. After all, I disgust him. He doesn’t approve of Bakura. He’s sorry he ever gave me that ring…he’s sorry that I was ever born. He doesn’t even like the way I look. I look like a girl!” Ryou stated picking at the lettuce.

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you look.” Yami countered. 

“Damn straight!” Bakura agreed.

“Get your mind out of the gutter for two seconds, tomb robber!” Yami snapped at Bakura, then turning his attention toward Ryou. “Reconciliation is out then?”

“I don’t care anymore to be around him and his new wife. She got what she wanted and he was stupid enough to fall for it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he winds up dead soon.” Ryou sighed. “She’s after the money.”

“Women do that?” Yami asked.

“As many pleasure slaves as you had, did they fuck you out of love, or did they fuck you because you were the Prince?” Bakura shot at him. “How many of those women dreamed to be your Queen thinking they were different somehow? They didn’t want to be your Queen because they loved you! No! They wanted the prestige! You knew it too! It’s no different today!”

“I never had pleasure slaves. My father did. He thought I was too young.” Yami countered.

“What the hell did he give you then? Toys? You mean to tell me, you never got laid and you were the Prince of Egypt for Ra’s sake?!” Bakura thundered. 

“What is your point?” Yami asked.

“Your father was a selfish bastard, that’s what!” Bakura pointed out. 

“You need to tell me that? I already knew.” Yami stated as Yuugi kept on eating ignoring of everything going on. “So, this woman that Ryou’s father is marrying wishes to gain prestige and his money? Isn’t she afraid of Karma?”

“I don’t think she believes in it.” Ryou sighed. “Frankly, some people never get theirs in the end.”

Bakura raised a brow at this. Oh, the bitch was going to get it at the end all right if he had anything to do with it! 

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” Bakura grinned in spite of himself. 

Yami raised a brow. Oh, he knew the Tomb Robber was after the step-bitch. For once, not even the Pharaoh was going to interfere. Let Bakura have his fun and let it all out for Ryou. Ra knows they didn’t need the gentle white haired man (gentle…oy!) going off the deep end. 

“Hey guys!” Yami almost fell out of the booth hearing Jou’s loud voice. “What did I miss?”

“Your mother blew me. That’s what you missed!” Bakura snorted. 

“Ask if that hurts man! It doesn’t!” Jou grabbed a chair and put it in front of the table in the booth, turning it around, leaning his head on his arms on the top. “So, really, what did I miss?”

“Nothing much.” Yami answered. 

“Oh, if you count scaring half the customers out of here, Bakura threatening the poor guy at the register and the history of chicken as nothing much, then nothing happened.” Ryou snorted in disgust. 

“Cool!” The blond smiled. “Anyone up to going to the arcade?”

“No!” Ryou, Bakura and Yami said in unison.

“I’ll go!” Yuugi piped up. 

‘Figures!’ Yami thought. 

“After all, we are friends, and maybe we should all go. Anyway…” Yuugi started.

“Oh shut up!” Yami groaned as he shut his eyes, squeezing his fingers against his temples. “Anzu is no longer here and I don’t want to hear the nauseating friendship speech! If I have to hear it again I am going to throw you off a bridge!” He shot a dangerous look at Yuugi. “When we had to share a body, I had to plug my ears every time you guys got nauseatingly sappy. Now I just don’t want to hear it anymore! Don’t you guys even know how to be teenagers?! Normal teenagers go out, get drunk, and crash their parent’s car! They go to parties and sneak out at night to do it! You guys wouldn’t know fun if it smacked you across the face!” Yami thundered. “You know what I did when I was a teen? I snuck into my parent’s private stash of good booze and drank it! I stole a few chariots and tortured some of the guards for fun! I snuck out at night and joined some of my friends for a nice round of looting! Now that’s living!”

“In all that time, you never got laid?” Bakura asked.

“HI EVERYONE!!” A high piercing voice interrupted their conversation. 

“What the fuck…” Bakura started as everyone looked toward the perky pink haired girl with big blue eyes and a very obscene looking outfit. 

“Hi everyone! I’m the new girl in Domino and I came here to change all of your lives!!” She exclaimed cheerily.

“Unless you’re Julia Roberts, don’t rattle my cage!” Bakura shot back. 

“Silly silly Bakura! I am Mary Sue! I know all about all of you.” Her eyes were sparkling.

“She’s scaring me. Somebody make her go away!” Bakura began to cower in fear. 

“I’m going to change all your lives for the better. After this, you will all like me and if something happens to me, you will all be sooooooo sad.” Ra, what drama…yech!

“You want to put that to the test?” Yami challenged as the golden third eye appeared on his forehead. “You have three seconds to leave, you shallow twit, before I kill you!” He got up from the booth and approached the vapid girl.

“Oh! But you’re supposed to like meeeeeeeee!” She whined, her hands on her hips and her foot stomping on the ground.

“I don’t like you!” Yami stated as the girl’s eyes began to water. 

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! You hate me!!!! YOU ALL HATE ME!!!!” She cried making Yami, Bakura and Ryou cover their ears. “That’s it! I’m going to the Gundam Wing universe! At least I can change their lives for the better.”

“If Heero Yuy doesn’t shoot you first!” Bakura laughed back. 

“Very funny! I am better than Relena, or Hilde, or that scary girl Dorothy!” She huffed as she walked out. “I’LL BE DUO MAXWELL’S GIRLFRIEND!!”

“HE’S REALLY A GIRL!!!” Bakura shouted as everyone looked at him. “What? She bared her breasts to Heero!”

“You’re thinking of that movie, Just One of the Guys!” Ryou drawled. 

“Oh yeah…” Bakura banged his head on the table.  
TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Remember, this is a spoof or sorts! I had just had to make fun of the friendship thing and the Mary Sue thing. I see too much of it in fandom. 
> 
> The girl is fashioned a bit after Amy Rose in Sonic the Hedgehog. 
> 
> Bakura: Could I meet Dorothy? I like scary women!
> 
> Ryou: NO!!!!!!!!!! (Hits Bakura over the head with a baseball bat)


	7. Bakura's got grease and Yamui's Trippin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bakura is his usual self. Yami ponders about Yuugi, life, and being better than everyone else. Marik is well...Marik.

SIX

Yuugi had left the burger place with Jounochi in a hurry for the arcade before Yami lost his temper. Jou was his target. Of course, Bakura and Ryou were left dealing with a temperamental Pharaoh.

“Okay Pharaoh! Calm down! Your other self is gone and he’s walking the dog!” Bakura smirked as Yami continued to glare at the door as if he stared hard enough, it would shatter. “Hey your highness, how about a threesome with me and Ryou!”

“BAKURA!!” Ryou shouted in anger, getting Yami’s attention.

“Do you think maybe you could show more respect toward Ryou?” Yami questioned. “I think we’ve discussed this before like last night??”

“I remember. I was trying to get your attention, although the thought is pretty…” Bakura started.

“Don’t EVEN finish that THOUGHT!!” Ryou warned.

“You really have problems Bakura! Is that all you ever think about?” Yami demanded.

“Uh, let me think….yup!” Bakura grinned proudly. “Oh, and my club…” He looked at his wrist watch. “…speaking of which, I have to get there and do the payroll. Unfortunately, slavery is illegal these days. Gotta pay the wenches what they’re worth.”

“Bakura, eat what you call food first and then let’s go over there.” Ryou sighed. 

“Oh yeah! GREASE!!!” Bakura dug into his food as Ryou’s face almost turned green. 

Marik was dissatisfied with the work of his mindless slaves. They still hadn’t found the three he wanted. Walking toward his intended destination, he found one of the three he wanted to kidnap.

Mokuba Kaiba was a notorious little monster who had his own fan following. Once a week, he and his fan club met near the docks in the abandoned warehouse playing the latest game. Now it was Capsule Monsters. How that game survived was beyond Marik.

“I WIN AGAIN!!!” An arrogant voice sounded. 

“Damn Mokuba, you keep winning every time!” One of the kiss asses stated. 

“You’re great Mokuba!” Another voice sounded.

Marik followed the voices to their source and found a group of boys surrounding a makeshift table. On one end was Mokuba and the other was some poor kid who was dragged in. Of course, the kid was probably going to get the shit kicked out of him.

Marik began to slowly clap in sarcasm as the group grew silent. Walking toward the table, the Tomb Protector looked down at the victim and noticed how the kid trembled. The Egyptian stopped clapping. His person was intimidating. Marik looked more imposing, his hair more in spikes, his eyes more narrow and his expression more severe.

“Leave.” He ordered the kid as he quickly got up and ran out. 

Unfortunately, the other kids ran out as well leaving poor Mokuba to deal with the crazed Marik. 

“YOU TRAITORS!!! COME BACK HERE!!!” Mokuba shouted.

“I would worry about yourself if I were you.” Marik warned as he approached the child.

“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!!? MY BIG BROTHER IS SETO KAIBA!!!! IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ME…” Marik grabbed the little big mouth up by the front of his shirt bringing Mokuba close to his face.

“I could care less who your big brother is. I need you to lure him to me. I originally wanted your stupid little self to sacrifice to Rah, but I think he would get indigestion from your corrupt little soul! I guess I’ll just have to sacrifice the Pharaoh’s brat like I originally planned to!” Marik growled.

“DON’T YOU DARE HURT YUUGI!!! HE’S MY FRIEND!!!” Mokuba shouted kicking in the air. 

“SHUT UP!!!” Marik shook him roughly. “I’ll do what I damn please! You are coming with me and then I’ll contact your stupid brother and give him an ultimatum.”

“What is that!” Mokuba demanded.

“You’ll see.” Marik grinned the grin that Mokuba did not like. 

The pharaoh had left the grease pit. After witnessing the “slamming of the nuts” administered by Ryou to Bakura, he figured to leave before things got even uglier…Bakura asking Ryou for forgiveness. Yami could not witness a man begging to his love like that. It was undignified!

Oh yeah, he knew the man was in love with his partner. Ryou had him literally wrapped around his little finger. Bakura would eat dirt if Ryou asked him. Of course, Yami hoped Ryou would not go that far. Why oh why did Bakura insist on acting like a letch in front of his partner like that? 

Yami figured to let his anger subside toward Jou and join the two at the arcade. Besides, he wanted to see Yuugi home safe. He may have grown, but he was still a bit short and defenseless. He was still a magnet for trouble. 

Walking into the darkened arcade place, Yami looked around carefully for his Partner. There seemed to be a sea of children and teens a like in this place. Where were the parents? Did they not care about their little darlings??

Walking further inside, Yami spotted some stupid overgrown idiot picking on some kid. He had the kid by the scruff of his collar practically shaking him. Of course, the idiot was bigger and yeah, he had the definition of a tough guy. Picking on the weak was a sign of weakness itself. 

“You think you’re so great, Motou! How about I kick your dueling ass into next week!” Oh that did it!

Yami quickly walked up behind the stupid idiot and tapped him on the shoulder. The big dolt dropped Yuugi and then turned to face a very pissed off Pharaoh.

“What the hell do you want?” The jerk asked.

“I am the great Yami Motou! You’re picking on the wrong person, peasant!” The bronzed muscled pharaoh answered back, eyes defiant.

“Then who is he?” The guy pointed toward a confused Yuugi.

“The last person you will ever touch!” Yami answered grabbing the guy’s arm and then breaking it with ease, twisting it behind his back, forcing him to the floor. 

The man shrieked in agony as everyone else backed off. There was no way in hell they were going to jump in and help that guy. 

Satisfied with his work, the Pharaoh leaned over the guy and then whispered into his ear, a devious smirk on his face. “You ever come near him again or even think about him, you will be sent to a place where Hades couldn’t even rival.” He let go of the guy’s unnaturally bent arm and then stood up.

Looking down at Yuugi, the Pharaoh stretched out a hand toward his partner. Yuugi took it wincing as he stood up. He was hurt?? Without asking, Yami made his partner lean into him as he helped him to a table in the arcade. The next person he was going to break was Jounouchi! Where the hell was he when all this was happening? 

“Where the hell is Jounouchi!” Yami growled, gently depositing Yuugi in a seat. 

“I don’t know.” Yuugi admitted. “The last I saw him, he disappeared somewhere. Why?”

“Why wasn’t he with you!” Yami got in his face, his features furious. 

“He was meeting Mai here. I don’t know where they went.” Yuugi became a bit fearful of his dark half. 

“I’m not mad at you, little one. I am just concerned about who your friends really are!” Yami noticed the fear in his eyes which turned to fury the next instant.

“I AM NOT A CHILD ANYMORE!!!” He shouted back. “I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!!!”

“BE THAT AS IT MAY, YOU BELONG TO ME!!” The dark skinned man shouted back.

Everyone stopped to stare at the two. Yuugi’s expression was priceless at that comment. It was one that said…what the hell are you talking about!

“Don’t give me that look, Partner! You know what I mean!” He growled as he turned toward everyone. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL STARING AT, YOU BASTARDS!! I AM PHARAOH!!! I CLAIM WHAT IS MINE AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, KISS MY DARK EGYPTIAN ASS!!” He walked away from a shocked Yuugi.

Jounouchi had worshipped Mai from afar and was shocked when she returned his feelings when he turned 18. She was the wet dream of every man that knew her from the dueling tournaments and she belonged to Jounouchi. She felt so good to him, her curvy body being felt up by his skilled fingers, his body flushed against hers, feeling her breasts press against his own chest. Gods, he wished he could take her right there. 

“God, I love you.” Jounouchi whispered as they broke for air, his forehead leaning against hers. 

“I love you too.” She whispered back as they renewed the hungry kiss. 

“JOUNOUCHI!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!!” An enraged voice made the two part again. 

“SHIT!!! It’s that fucking psychotic Pharaoh! Yuugi must have gotten the shit kicked out of him again!” Jou straightened up as Mai did the same. 

“Why is it your concern?” Mai asked. “Yuugi can take care of himself, can’t he?”

“Not without the royal pain in the ass possessing him.” Jou answered. 

Yami made his presence known. Grabbing Jounouchi by the collar of his jacket, he slammed the blond against the wall making him cry out in pain. The Pharaoh was trained to fight and defend himself. 

“Where the hell were you when Yuugi was attacked?” Yami growled. 

“And why is that my problem? He’s old enough to take care of himself. I am sure he told you that already!” Jounouchi pointed out. 

Of course…yes, Yuugi had told him the same thing. Yami had no retort, nothing to shout back. He was just frustrated that his Partner kept getting pounded. It was like he had “punching bag” written on him. 

“You’re right.” Yami conceded, letting Jounouchi go. “I just get tired of seeing people hurting him all of the time.”

“I could understand that. I didn’t like it either, but there is a time where he is going to have to defend himself.” Jou pointed out. 

“Then I’ll have to be the one to do it for him.” Yami walked away from the two. “Carry on.”

“Gee thanks! YOU RUINED THE MOOD YA KNOW!!!” Jou shouted after him.

“Speak for yourself!” Mai grabbed him by the shoulders and then got him back into the mood.

Jou’s brain went on overload as Mai steamed up the kiss a bit, pressing her body against his and getting more physical than before. 

He was never so embarrassed in all his life. People were still giving Yuugi looks as they passed by. The teen figured to just sit there and wait for Yami to come back with what ever part of Jou he had. It wasn’t his friend’s fault after all. Why couldn’t the Pharaoh see that? Why couldn’t Yami let him be his own person? 

Spotting the Pharaoh in the arcade, the bronzed man walked back toward Yuugi. His expression did not convey anger, it conveyed regret and confusion. What had happened with his confrontation with Jou? 

Taking a seat, the Pharaoh could only gather his thoughts as he stared at the table surface. There was no way he was going to beg forgiveness from his partner. He was Pharaoh! (Arrogant ain’t he!) 

“Did you find Jou?” Yuugi asked.

“I found him. I found Mai and I found she is very well endowed.” Yami flushed as Yuugi raised an eye brow. “WHY THE HELL IS SHE WITH HIM!!”

Ooooookay! This was getting interesting! Did Yami forget what happened earlier? Oh well, the talk he had rehearsed in his head may not happen.

“She likes him?” Yuugi reminded his dark self. 

“I am the Pharaoh!” Yami started.

“You WERE the Pharaoh.” Yuugi corrected.

“Still! I’m royalty for Ra’s sake and some peasant gets a girl like that and not me? WHAT CAN HE OFFER HER THAT I CAN’T!!?” Yami demanded.

“Yami, women want more than just money and power.” Yuugi reminded him.

“You’re right! I’ll have someone construct a huge palace somewhere and it’ll be bigger than Kaiba’s mansion!” Yami brightened as Yuugi smacked his own forehead.

“NO!! That’s not what I had in mind!” Yuugi shot back. “Why don’t you stop being such an arrogant prick for five minutes and work on your personality? You have to stop with this “I’m God and the rest of you are peasants!” attitude! Women want to be romanced and treated like they’re the only thing that matters!” Some women were slowly approaching Yuugi enamored by his words.

“GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY PARTNER!!” Yami shouted at the teenage girls as they fled for their lives. 

“Stop scaring them away please? Do you know hard it is to get a date these days?” Yuugi reminded him.

“There’s nothing wrong with you!” Yami pointed out. “Now, my Partner, are you going to teach me how to woo women?”

“Like I have any experience!” Yuugi shot back. “Didn’t you even have a wife back in ancient Egypt?”

“I killed her.” Yami crossed his arms over his leather clad muscular chest. “She was a nagging bitch! Besides, she never wanted to have sex! She always had a headache!”

“Um, Yami, you can’t kill your wife these days. It’s illegal.” Yuugi pointed out. 

“I know that. Do you know something? She said she was a virgin! I found out she had done the entire village where she came from, the entire Egyptian army and my high priests! Even the old man Shimon!” Yami growled.

“Maybe you’re not ready for this, Yami.” Yuugi tried to get off the subject. 

“Do you know how that feels?” Yami was still in his trip down memory lane.

“Nope.” Yuugi gave up sinking into his seat. 

“She did everyone and she refused to be with me? I was the Pharaoh for crying out loud! It wasn’t like I was a wrinkled mess of an old man! I was young, I was virile and I was and still am handsome! She made a fool of me!” Yami thundered.

“Someone please shoot me.” Yuugi whispered to himself. 

“I know what I’m gonna do! I’ll find her reincarnation and then get my revenge on her. How hard could that be?” Yami asked. “How many people are on this planet?”

“Over a good few billion.” Yuugi answered.

“I’ll use the Millennium Puzzle! It’ll find her!” Yami answered himself. 

“What’s the point? She won’t remember.” Yuugi sighed. “Let it go!”

“That reminds me, I still am not finished with you!” Yami sat down and got into Yuugi’s face. “I had a talk with Jou, and yes, he did remind me that you are old enough to take care of yourself. The fact remains is that you and I are joined at the soul and I’ll be damned if I’ll let anything happen to you! Got that? I am aware you are not a child, but I am tired of people treating you as if they were worth no more than camel spit! You are part of me and that makes you better than everyone else on this planet, do you understand? We were a whole soul once! You are stuck with me in this life time until the next when we fuse into one again. SO DEAL WITH IT!!”

“Fine.” Yuugi conceded. What was the point of arguing with himself?

TBC.


	8. Ryou's Tears and Yami's New Fetish!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryou gets into an argument with his father that Bakura finishes. Yami and knives do not really mix...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is, I think, two Saturdays late. Have fun!

SEVEN

It had been hours since he and Bakura had left the “Grease Pit”. While Ryou was doing the books and making out the pay checks, Bakura was cleaning up the floor while blasting some obnoxious music! The worst part was, he was singing with it. 

“I’m too sexy for my looooooooooove! Too sexy for my looooooooooooooooove…” Ryou shook his head hearing Bakura’s exaggerated take on the song. “Too sexy for my cat…too sexy for my cat, in the microwave…” Ryou tuned the rest of his rendition out. 

At that moment, the phone rang. Ryou groaned dreading the call that one of the dancers would be out sick. Bakura was less than pleased when one of the “wenches” was out sick. Pressing the button on the cordless phone, Ryou answered the phone.

“Bondage Bakura’s, Ryou Bakura speaking.” Ryou sighed hating having to say the first part! 

“Son? This is your father.” Oh no! Not now!-Ryou thought as he leaned on one of his hands, his fingers taking a grip of a lock of his white hair. 

“Hello father.” Ryou found himself saying rather flatly. “What more could I do or say to you.” He deserved that.

“Ryou, I know we didn’t part on the best of terms.” His father started.

“That’s the understatement of the Century!” Ryou shot back.

“I just wanted you to know that I want you at the wedding, but I don’t want that guy with you.” He stated.

“He’s coming whether you like it or not. After all, FATHER, we have to keep up appearances, don’t we?” Ryou reminded him. “After the wedding, you won’t see or hear from me again.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous Ryou!” His father started. “We still have to face our family at certain times. We cannot afford to drift apart.”

“If you remember correctly, you didn’t exactly want me around anymore!” Ryou pointed out. 

“Be that as it may, we still have to be a family somehow and that hoodlum is not going to be part of it!” His father spat back.

“That HOODLUM cares for me more than you do right now!” Ryou shot back. “He has every right to be anywhere I am. If it weren’t for him, I would be in a shelter right now!”

“Be that as it may, he is still not part of this family! He is the reason you almost destroyed your life!” His father argued back. 

“Oh God! Stop with the “Be that as it may!” bullshit! How about this! After the wedding reception, just tell them at the next reunion that I died in some accident!” Ryou practically shouted.

*******************************************************

Bakura turned off the music after mopping up the entire floor. He then heard a conversation going on in his office between Ryou and someone else. His Partner sounded upset. 

“Of course I care what the Queen mother thinks! She is my grandmother after all!” Bakura heard Ryou say. 

Who the hell was the Queen mother? Was she someone dangerous? Was she an alien like in those movies? Bakura slowly walked toward the office to hear the rest of the conversation.

“No, I don’t think hearing about my death would make her terribly happy. I AM NOT A PRINCE AND I WILL NOT ACT ACCORDINGLY!!” Ryou shouted.

His Ryou, a prince? Was he some kind of royalty? Bakura walked into the office standing behind Ryou’s chair not wanting to disturb the rest of the conversation.

“I doubt Bakura being there is going to upset anyone. What would they care anyway! I never see them to begin with!” Ryou’s breath shuddered. “SO WHAT!!! I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU OR ANYONE ELSE THINKS!” Bakura had never seen Ryou this upset before. “Yes father…” He voice became quiet. “I am not leaving him.” Another shuddering breath. “You don’t understand any of this!” Another pause. “It’s your fault to begin with!” Bakura was becoming worried. That was it!

Bakura grabbed the receiver from Ryou as he gasped in surprise. Looking at Ryou’s face, the Tomb Robber could see the tears coming down almost in rivers. No more!

“Hello Mister Bakura! Why don’t you shut the fuck up for five minutes and listen! You will not call here anymore to harass Ryou! This is a place of business…” He heard the man shout on the other end. “I told you to shut the fuck up didn’t I? You are on my time, asshole! Yes! That’s right! My mother fucking time!” He heard silence. “Good boy! Now listen here shit head, we’ll be at your stupid wedding to that whore you’re marrying! We’ll be on our best behavior, at least the best I could pull off without killing someone! Oh yeah, and we’ll impress this Queen mother of yours! In fact, I plan on fucking Ryou on the wedding cake!” Bakura grinned deviously as he heard his father shout on the other end. “Yep! Then I’m going to give that cunt wife of yours a nice vaginal itch she’ll never forget because she is such a fucking bitch for turning you against your own son! Of course you have no nads to begin with because she cut ‘em off! Then we’ll see you at your fucking funeral in about six months, and I’ll be surprised if you last that long, when your dumb bitch of a wife takes a knife and stabs you in the back to get your money! By the way, could you leave me your gold fillings in your will? I have a sick fascination for human bones!” He heard a click on the other end. “Oh well, I guess that was too much for him!” Bakura pressed the off button. “What a waste of batteries.” He turned toward Ryou. “Are you okay?” He almost forgot Ryou in his fun with harassing his father.

“Fine. I can’t believe this is happening.” He whispered as he wiped away his tears. “I mean, he is my father.”

“So.” Bakura started.

“He was all I had left.” Ryou wondered why Bakura was being like that. “Don’t you understand?” He gasped as Bakura grabbed a gentle hold of his chin. 

“I do understand. More than you know.” He looked away, his hand falling from Ryou’s chin. “I’m going to go see if there is anything else that needs to be done.” He turned toward Ryou. “Are you going to stick around tonight?”

“If you need me to.” He answered as Bakura smiled.

“I always do.” Bakura walked out of the office.

Bored! Bored! Bored! Was the mood to describe Yami at the present time. Why oh why the old man insisted that the shop be opened early in the day was beyond him. No one came to the shop until after 5pm! Of course he had to volunteer to take over the shop until the elderly man came back from his errands. 

Dressed in his usual leather fetish, Yami branded a knife and threw it at its intended target. A nice picture of Marik Ishtar hung just off to the side. The psycho had sent it some time ago to taunt poor Yuugi, but Yami had pilfered it off his partner. It had inscribed on it, ‘To Yuugi, love and kisses, Marik”. He had evil plans for that picture! 

“Bullseye!” Yami ferally grinned as he made another knife appear out of no where and then threw it again. “Oh well, hit his eye! Now to hit the other!” He made another knife come out. 

The bell jingled as Yami put down the knife. Who would come at this hour? Of course, it would be one of Yuugi’s friends.

“Jounouchi, what the hell are you doing here?” Yami asked. “Shouldn’t you be in school or something?” 

“Doesn’t start until next semester.” Jou leaned on the glass counter. “I was in the neighborhood and…” he turned toward the knives in the wall. “Um…are you in a bad mood or somethin’? I could come back later.” 

“No. Go ahead and talk.” He took the knife and then threw it Marik’s other eye. “YES!!” He made Jou jump. 

“Oooookay. It’s like this. Mai broke up with me today. She said we have nothing beyond the physical.” The blond boy started. 

“That’s an understatement.” Yami countered.

“Anyway…” He started as he ignored Yami’s comment. “I was wondering…well…COULDIGOOUTWITHYUUGI!!”

Huh? His partner? Nuh uh! No way! No fucking way! No way was this guy going to treat his Partner as a rebound. 

“NO WAY ON THIS EARTH WILL I LET YOU GO OUT WITH MY PARTNER!!” Yami got in Jounouchi’s face. “Besides.” He sat back down. “Maybe you should be by yourself for a while and find out who you are first before you jump into another relationship. I’m sorry, but Yuugi is not going to your rebound person until you find someone else. I won’t permit it.”

“But Yuugi is someone I need.” Jounouchi argued.

“Yuugi is your best friend and if I were you, I would keep it that way until you figure out what you want.” Yami warned. “Anyway, if you were really interested in the same sex, Seto would be more suited to you than Yuugi. Yuugi is not the domineering type and I feel you need that.” ‘And besides, if you touch my Partner, I’ll kill you!’ He added as a silent afterthought.

“ARE YOU NUTS!!! WE HATE EACH OTHER!!” Jounouchi shouted. “Are you a sadist or what!”

“A sadist.” Yami grinned, his arms crossing over his muscular leather clad chest. “Or what.” He added. “Just take time to figure out what you want.” He uncrossed his arms and then made another knife appear. “If you touch Yuugi, just once and…” He threw the blade right in between Marik’s eyes. “Bulls eye again!” He cheered.

“I get the point…literally.” The blond backed away and then ran from the store. 

“Thought that would work.” Yami brandished another knife and threw it again.

“YAMI!!!” The old man walked in from the back. “Stop doing that! Now I’ll have to spackle another wall! If you want to throw knives, join the circus!” 

Yuugi was walking home from college. Another day down, another few weeks to go. He wished he could do better, he really did, but for some reason he had so much on his mind. One of them being his overprotective other self! 

Why did Yami act like an ass half the time? He had gotten a bit worse since he got his own body…and what a nice body it was. BAD YUUGI!! His body was nicely tanned, his face looked a bit different, more mature, his eyes more narrow and his whole demeanor beautiful. The blond locks suited him in contrast perfectly. Those muscles…BAD BAD YUUGI!!

Back to Yami acting like an ass…a very overprotective ass…a very nice…stop right there! He was tired of the pharaoh treating him like a child. Could he not he see he was a man in his own right? 

At that moment, a chill ran up his spine. Yuugi stopped walking feeling some dark presence around him. Looking around the street, he could not see anything. Regaining his pace, Yuugi walked quickly toward the game shop. Racing toward the door, all thoughts of the pharaoh temporarily gone, Yuugi hurried inside closing the door behind him. Heaving a sigh of relief, he noticed Yami with a bucket and spackler. Was he throwing knives again?

“You got bored again?” Yuugi asked breaking Yami’s concentration.

“Yuugi.” The Pharaoh greeted. “How was your day?”

“Hard…um…okay.” Yuugi caught himself. “Yours? Or should I not ask.”

“Don’t ask.” Yami replied. “I guess my knife wielding abilities don’t impress your grandfather.” Yuugi stifled a giggle.

“No. I guess it doesn’t.” Yuugi walked toward the counter. “Yami, I felt something today on the way home.”

“What was it? I HATE THIS EVIL STUFF!!” Yami shoved the spackle shovel into the tub. 

“There was something following me on the way home.” Yuugi started. “It didn’t feel right. It felt dark, you know, like the Shadow Realm?”

“Then maybe I should drive you back and forth to school to be safe.” Yami stated. “I know Marik is still alive out there somewhere. He’ll want to try to kill me again.”

“Marik?” Yuugi asked as he noticed the poster that the insane blond had sent him full of slashes on the counter. “You used his picture as target practice?” Yuugi giggled.

“Yep.” Yami took the picture, crumpled it up, took out his lighter and lit it. “Heh! That’s what I think of him.” He let the crumpled mass go into the waste basket. 

“Ummm….Yami, you might want to put that out.” Yuugi ran behind the counter watching the paper burn itself out. “Nevermind.”

“Hey, I may be insane at times, but I ain’t stupid!” Yami grinned deviously. “Anyway, I hope he sends more! The ones of Anzu are too small.”

“Yami! You haven’t been throwing knives at Anzu’s pictures!” Yuugi’s eyes widened.

“Yep. One slash for every time that I had put up with her stupid friendship speeches!” Yami proclaimed proudly. “To think I found her attractive! Must have been your influence.”

“Well excuse me!” Yuugi protested. “She was my friend for the longest time.” 

“And a fine friend she was!” Yami sat back down on the stool. “Try harder next time!”

“Yami!” Yuugi protested. “I thought you liked my friends.”

“I did.” Yami pointed out. “Go do your homework. You have no excuses anymore.” He shooed Yuugi away. “Go on Partner.”

“Fine! I’ll see you later!” Yuugi walked into the house. 

Slipping his hand under the cash register, Yami pulled out some pictures of Anzu. Tacking them on the recently abused wall, an insane grin crossed his face as he began to throw knives again. 

“YAMI!!” A shout was heard. 

Oh shit!

TBC…


	9. Bondage Blues, Ryou's Torment, and Marik's Insane ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Belladonna, a dominatrix with Bondage Bakuras, gets a very interesting client. Ryou's luck could not get worse. Marik is still plotting...

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a die-hard fan, hate shonen-ai or have no sense of humor, this isn’t for you! 

EIGHT

“BARK LIKE THE LOWLY DOG YOU ARE!!!” A female voice shouted as she yanked on the least of her unfortunate victim.

“ARF! ARF!!” Her victim shouted. 

“Not like a weak dog! Like a REAL DOG!!” She whipped her victim on the back gently. “NOW BARK!”

“WOOF WOOF!!!” Another crack of the whip was heard as her victim flinched.

“LOUDER YOU LOWLY DOG!!” She shouted.

“WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!” He barked.

The woman then forced her poor client to his feet and then strapped his wrists to the chains on the ceiling. He was suspended in mid air, his excitement of being dominated growing. He was totally covered in black leather, his face hidden. The dominatrix threw the whip aside and then grabbed a crop normally used for horses. 

Oh yes! The best was yet to come! All of his pent up frustration would come to an end soon! He could feel the excitement burn throughout his being. He ruled the corporate world by the balls, but tonight, she had his! 

“You’ve been a bad boy! A very bad, BAD boy!” A feral grin crossed her face. “Now I have to punish you in the worst way.” She stood behind him, crop ready to strike his firm rear when…

The door opened. Bakura poked his head in to see what was going on. Belladonna wanted to yank his pretty white hair one by one out of his head!

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? I’m in the middle of a session here!” She shouted at him. 

“I own the club you bitch! I just wanted to tell you that your next client is getting impatient. Finish up with Mister CEO here and move on to the next one! I sometimes think you enjoy him too much!” Bakura shot back. 

“Fuck you! When I’m done, I’m done!” She growled.

“Loves ya too babe!” Bakura grinned deviously.

“You would never talk to your would-be-boyfriend like this!” Bella Donna stated. 

“It’s because I actually love him. Bye!” Bakura shut the door.

“Stupid asshole!” She threw the crop down. “Why the hell I even put up with his stupid insane ass is beyond me! If it wasn’t for Ryou, I wouldn’t stay.” 

“You’re not going to finish?” The man demanded. 

“I’ll tell you what! Why don’t you go home and finish yourself off! I have clients waiting and I ain’t gonna piss off Bakura anymore tonight, Seto! I don’t care who you are or what your name means! Now get dressed and get out!” She ordered as she stepped out of the room.

“I PAID FOR A GOOD HOURS SESSION!” Seto shouted back. “I DEMAND SATISFACTION!!” He threw off the leather mask. 

“Go fuck yourself!” She shot back through the door.

Ryou slid through the sea of people to find Bakura. He was tired of being groped and grabbed by the dancing patrons. If Bakura found this out they would all be disemboweled. Bakura enjoyed torturing his victims sometimes before he killed them. 

“Excuse me! Please don’t grab me there! Thank you! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OR ELSE!!” Ryou shouted at one of the patrons working his way toward the bar holding a black leather bound folder protectively against his chest. “I can’t believe I put up with this! I am going to demand an easier way to get to the damned bar!” He finally worked his toward a loud Bakura drinking down a beer. “Bakura!” Ryou put down the folder on the bar and then grabbed onto his shirt as if he were a life line, his eyes wide. “Help me! There has to be an easier way to get to the bar! I can’t take this anymore.”

“What’s going on?” Bakura put his bottle down and wrapped his arms around his distraught other, bringing him closer.

“I am tired of being groped or someone trying to grab me.” Ryou growled in disgust. “I want a better way to get to the bar so I can give you the damned paychecks! Or maybe for once you can come to the office and see how it feels!” 

Oh boy! Bakura had never seen Ryou this pissed! Was he sure he wasn’t a girl? PMS was a pretty nasty thing. Bakura experienced it once with one of his girl friends way back when. She chased after him with a knife threatening to slice his manhood off. Suffice to say, he successfully got away from her! Lucky him! Looking Ryou over, he was definitely a male, except for that face…

“I think you need Midol.” Bakura could only think of.

“DAMN IT BAKURA!!! I’m being serious here!” Ryou protested.

“So am I.” He countered. “Look, I’ll come to the office in the future and get the checks. Don’t worry. I think you’ve had a hard time, Ryou. Getting stressed out is not going to help you. It’s just going to hurt you.” Where the hell did this come from?

Ryou felt those strong arms hold him tighter as he was almost crushed to Bakura’s muscular chest. Ryou’s eyes became bigger. The albino could hear Bakura’s heart beat in his chest…and oh what a nice strong chest it was... Closing his eyes and slowly moving his arms around the other’s strong body, Ryou reveled in the feeling. He never felt like this before…

“Well, well! If it isn’t Bakura and his little cock tease!” A voice destroyed the moment.

Bakura let go of Ryou and then took a protective stance in front of the smaller albino. Looking around Bakura, Ryou shuddered as he saw the crazed muscular form of Marik. Wasn’t he sane?

“If it isn’t the Three Faces of Eve or should I call you Everett! You should lay off the steroids asshole! Your mind is fucked up as it is!” Bakura shot back. “What the hell do you want?”

“Your attempt at insults doesn’t faze me Tomb Robber! I am here to ask for a favor.” Marik stated. 

“No! I don’t have any virgins here so get lost!” Bakura snarled.

“Except the one behind you.” Marik grinned maliciously.

“Fuck you! What do you want?” Bakura demanded. 

“I want you to join me in destroying the pharaoh.” Marik stated. 

“Okay psycho blonde! Let’s get one thing straight! You are not an ancient spirit like me and Yami are. You are a psychotic fuck who has a personality disorder! You’re only pissed because you were born into a family that wanted you to be servant to the Pharaoh when he came back. Well, he doesn’t fucking need your stupid ass! You’re free to live your own life so get lost and get a life!” Bakura shot back. “Oh, and see a fucking psychiatrist for some strong medication! I thought that you were cured!”

That comment only caused Marik to laugh heartily. Ryou cringed as Bakura’s face almost turned red. As his laughter died down, Bakura grabbed the stupid blond by the front of his sleeveless tunic.

“Listen asswipe, I ain’t gonna mess with the Pharaoh. He’s as psychotic as you are at the moment! So get your stupid sorry ass out of my club and out of my life.” He noticed Marik staring lustfully at Ryou…this was not missed by Bakura. “AND STOP STARING AT RYOU, YOU PERVERT!!!” Bakura dragged a slobbering Marik away from the bar and disappeared into the sea of people. 

“He’s going to throw him out the door like he did the last guy who looked at me like that.” Ryou said deadpanned. “He does care!” His eyes lit up. 

“AND STAY OUT YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!” Bakura threw Marik out into the night. 

“This isn’t the last you’ll hear from me.” Marik promised.

“Oh yes it will! ‘Cause the next time I hear from you or see you, you’re a fucking dead man!” Bakura threatened as he sheathed out his long knife. “Don’t think I won’t kill you on the spot!”

“Keep your eyes on that little one. You never know when he might disappear.” Marik smirked as he got off the ground, dusted his body off and then walked away.

“YOU KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF MY RYOU!!!” Bakura shouted after him. 

Finally there was a tournament and the prize money was enough for the former Pharaoh to afford a nice place of his own. All thoughts of having a palace, a Queen and several hundred children were out of the question at the moment. He could not give someone of that status the life they deserved…and there was a severe shortage of royalty these days…not that he deemed any of them worthy of his attention! They were uuuuuuuugly and severely inbred!

Of course he would celebrate with his Partner when he came out the victor. After all, he won every tournament there ever was. They might as well write the check out to him now!

Packing was a priority now. He would tell Yuugi his plans before he left. After all, he would want his partner to wait for him to come back. Then he would have time to sort out his mind and his feelings about the future.

“Yami?” Yuugi asked from the door. “Are you leaving?”

“Just for one day. There is a dueling tournament and the prize money is too good to pass up.” Yami started as he shoved more stuff in his bag. “When I get back, we’ll talk.” He closed the top and then walked over to his partner. “Take care of yourself while I’m away.” He took a hold of his other self and hugged him. 

“I will.” Yuugi promised as Yami let him go. “By the way, I got the invitation in the mail today for the wedding. They set it quick.” Yuugi handed him the envelope which was already opened.

“I feel badly for Ryou. I’ll pick up a gift while I am out in Tokyo.” Yami promised. “I’ll get something laced with poison.” He smirked. 

“Yami…” Yuugi sighed. “I’ll see you when you get back.” He walked out of the room. 

Now what was going through his other self’s mind?

Ryou hated waking up sometimes. If it weren’t for Bakura, he would stay in the eternal abyss of slumber. Unfortunately, he had to go to college that morning. Putting on a robe, the albino got out of bed and walked out of his room. It was the second largest to Bakura’s own room. 

Walking into the dining room, Ryou noticed the ever building mountain of mail on the table. Bakura ate in the kitchen and used the dining room table as a mail receptacle. He kept promising to go through the mail, but he never did. Ryou figured to sit down and try to sift through the mess before he would have to get ready to leave. 

Pulling out a chair, Ryou sat down and began to go through the mail separating junk from bills. When he got further down the pile, he noticed two things, an invitation to his father’s wedding to the bitch and a letter from his college. Opening the college letter first, he pulled out the letter and then opened it. He felt his heart fall into his stomach. Wide eyed, Ryou read it again to make sure it was right. Folding the piece of paper up, he set it down gently and then sighed. How far could someone go to ruin someone’s life? 

Dear Ryou,

It has come to our attention about your extracurricular activities from an anonymous source. In order to keep up the reputation of this fine educational institution, we have no choice but to suspend you indefinitely. Your scholarship has been revoked. You may wish to pursue your educational choice with a city college that will not have a problem with your choice in employment. We wish you the best.

With our Regrets…

Yeah right! Regrets! Guess he didn’t have to go to school today or ever! City college? Ugh. Well, he would have to tell Bakura right away and perhaps just leave the safety of his home. There was no other reason to be there, was there? 

“Looks like the cunt strikes again because I don’t think your father would even stoop this low.” A voice sounded in his ear making Ryou gasp in surprise. 

Of course Bakura, being the thief he once was, never let his presence be known. He was leaning over Ryou’s shoulder reading the letter. 

“If I were you, I’d hire someone to take the bitch out.” Bakura stated. “Of course, I don’t think even you would wish her death as much as I do.”

“It wouldn’t serve a purpose.” Ryou sighed. ‘What will become of me now?’ He thought in anguish.

“Don’t worry. You still have me.” Bakura kissed his cheek and then walked away. 

Damn it! He read his mind again before he could ask the question. Now what was he going to do! Leaving that a question to a future time, Ryou opened the wedding invitation…talking about adding insult to injury! Ripping it opened, not caring about the contents at all, the white frilly card fell out with the RSVP. The woman really had to rush it, didn’t she! 

“I can’t believe this!” Ryou growled. “She wasted no time.”

Okay…now how the hell would he get out of this mess? The doctors assured him he would be cured. Of course Malik was probably beginning to realize that his other personality had finally manifested itself as something living and separate from himself. Oh yeah, he was in the hell that was the Shadow Realm. No, not entirely there, but in that damn glass pyramid that his darker self loved. Once again he was bodiless and felt cold. 

“So this is what it’s like to be dead.” He sighed knowing banging on the glass was futile. “I reject my future and this is what it comes to. Meanwhile the pharaoh lives his own life. How ironic!”

“Isn’t it.” A voice answered him in a mock concerned tone. “Oh yes, what did you want out of life? I don’t want to wait for the Pharaoh to return. I want to live on the surface! I want to reject my family’s honor for my own selfish purposes!” Marik snorted at his other self. “You are pathetic! Our sister should have been the one to serve the pharaoh. Ra knows she took the job more seriously than you did.”

“She’s my sister! Why don’t you fuck off!” Malik shot back. 

“My my! What foul language! Watch it Malik, I may have to cut your tongue out.” Marik sneered. “It’s too bad you are a spirit right now. I need a virgin sacrifice in order to get back at the pharaoh. You would fit perfectly, but unfortunately, I may have to sacrifice someone else.”

“What century do you live in? Virgin sacrifices? Why?” Malik demanded.

“To appease Ra when he strikes down the Pharaoh.” Marik answered as he sat down on an ancient table across from Malik. “I may use Bakura’s little angel as the sacrifice.”

“Ryou?” Malik asked in disbelief. “Why not Yuugi? Oh hell, how about Kaiba’s little brother? In fact, why don’t you off yourself since you aren’t exactly stud material!”

“That would sorta defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it?” Marik snorted. “Mokuba, seriously? Ra would get indigestion.”

“I thought you’d be insane enough to fall for it!” Malik smirked in satisfaction. “I doubt you’ll ever get a hold of what belongs to Bakura. I doubt he’s the same person you dueled with a few years ago!”

“I’ll send him and his little whore to the Shadow Realm once again!” Marik promised. “If Bakura thinks he can defeat me with the Winged Dragon of Ra, he is sadly mistaken.”

“Maybe he’ll use Diabound.” Malik stated. “You can’t beat that.”

“I sure the hell will try to.” Marik quickly spat. “I am not going to let some ancient Tomb Robber upstage me!” He walked away. 

TBC…


End file.
